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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by cubic_me on July 27, 2004, at 16:36:15
I'm not the most exiting person to talk to. Nothing really happens between sessions, and I just seem to turn up, say everything is 'ok' or the same as normal and off I go again.
I've been going for nearly 2 years now - usually at the place I go they do short therapy where people are offered a maximum of 5 sessions, but I still seem to be going. She must be bored out of her brains by now. I can't tell whether she keeps encouraging me to keep going to therapy because I am suicidal much of the time (and she doesn't want the responisbility of terminating) or whether she actually thinks that more therapy will help. Maybe I should ask.
Maybe I should try to be more animated and more 'exiting' to work with, but I don't really have the energy when it takes up most of my energy to be 'normally' sociable at the moment.
Posted by thewrite1 on July 27, 2004, at 17:14:09
In reply to Boring my T, posted by cubic_me on July 27, 2004, at 16:36:15
Perhaps you're trying to build trust? When I started with my T, there were weeks and weeks where I'd just go in there and we'd look at each other for 50 minutes. I know it was frustating to her, but she never let it show. Later, rather than sooner, I did gain trust in her and I began talking. That took a lot of time and patience on her part.
Maybe you're situation is different, but you should try and evaluate why you still go there. What do you hope to accomplish? Do you think your T can help? By all means, ask her! She'd probably be glad to answer the question.
Posted by Dinah on July 27, 2004, at 17:44:50
In reply to Boring my T, posted by cubic_me on July 27, 2004, at 16:36:15
Are you on any medication for depression?
Posted by cubic_me on July 28, 2004, at 7:28:35
In reply to Re: Boring my T » cubic_me, posted by Dinah on July 27, 2004, at 17:44:50
> Are you on any medication for depression?
Yep, I'm on Effexor XR at the moment. I've been on several combinations but because I can't see my pdoc for a few months (I'm away from the area) he thought I should just stay on that over the summer.
Posted by B2chica on July 28, 2004, at 9:49:42
In reply to Boring my T, posted by cubic_me on July 27, 2004, at 16:36:15
i too think that you are being awful hard on yourself. I think you should continue as long as you feel you need to. and i also agree that this could be a trust thing with your T.
But most importantly you may say that everything is "fine" during the week, but i think you also may be be-littleing (ok my sp ain't great) your troubles. I think that you do have very valid concerns and issues and you need to see that too. Everyone has a different level of need. that fact is you are still hurting. Suicidal thought/desires are frightening, confusing and difficult to deal with. (BULEEVE ME, i know from where i speak). Even if you had Absolutely NO other "issues" this alone is a very valid problem. No one should deal with this alone.
Just give yourself time, if it feels right you will say what needs to be said. I always dance around topics for about three weeks before i finally jump in, and sometimes i'll get the nerve to say something but i'll tell him "ok, i need to say something that is important but i don't think i can actually discuss it today" this way i get it out (cuz that's been the most difficult for me) and i have time to let that sink in...then next time (if i feel up to it) we continue talking about it.
Please take care of yourself Racer.
and i am GLAD to see you posting again...i was wondering where you've been. ((((((Racer))))))b2c.
Posted by B2chica on July 28, 2004, at 9:51:05
In reply to Re: Boring my T » cubic_me, posted by B2chica on July 28, 2004, at 9:49:42
Posted by Poet on July 28, 2004, at 14:06:36
In reply to Boring my T, posted by cubic_me on July 27, 2004, at 16:36:15
Hi Cubicme,
I so understand, I feel like I should just tape a session and play it back at the next one. I've been in therapy for almost two years and I'm amazed my therapist doesn't fall asleep. My pdoc (new, fourth appointment next week) says he'd like to get to know me better, what so he'll be bored, too?
Sigh. Sorry for not offering much advice, hope company in boredom helped you know you're not the only one.
Poet
Posted by JenStar on July 28, 2004, at 16:46:28
In reply to Boring my T, posted by cubic_me on July 27, 2004, at 16:36:15
cubic_me,
it sounds like you would like to lead a more interesting life. I could be all wrong here, but reading betw. the lines -- it seems that you're concerned not as much with whether your T thinks you're boring, but more with whether you yourself think you're boring?What kinds of things would you like to do? What hobbies would you like to take up? What places would you like to visit? What would make your life more colorful, more vivid, more worth living?
I'd print your post (worried about boring your T) and bring it to your next session. Ask the T to help you brainstorm on ways to add zest and pizzaz and happiness to life.
I went through a rought patch myself where I thought I was boring and awful and a waste of energy. Meds helped me (thanks, Lexapro!). I also decided to do one interesting thing each week, whether I wanted to or not. Examples were: checking out the new downtown library, going to an art exhibit, getting coffee at a place that is reputed to be the "cool person" hangout, trying to ride a Segway Scooter at the store (Brookstone at the mall will let you try it if you sign a paper & take a quick intro lesson!) I forced myself to do these things, and they often turned into fun stories to share with friends. At least it was something new to see.
I'm sure you're NOT boring to talk to. Give yourself more credit. And ask the T about your concerns...you'll prob. open up a huge can of worms of things that need discussion.
Good luck and take care. And try out that Segway. It's really fun!
JenStar
> I'm not the most exiting person to talk to. Nothing really happens between sessions, and I just seem to turn up, say everything is 'ok' or the same as normal and off I go again.
>
> I've been going for nearly 2 years now - usually at the place I go they do short therapy where people are offered a maximum of 5 sessions, but I still seem to be going. She must be bored out of her brains by now. I can't tell whether she keeps encouraging me to keep going to therapy because I am suicidal much of the time (and she doesn't want the responisbility of terminating) or whether she actually thinks that more therapy will help. Maybe I should ask.
>
> Maybe I should try to be more animated and more 'exiting' to work with, but I don't really have the energy when it takes up most of my energy to be 'normally' sociable at the moment.
Posted by cubic_me on July 28, 2004, at 16:56:21
In reply to Re: Boring my T, posted by thewrite1 on July 27, 2004, at 17:14:09
I think that my trust is building slowly - I talk alot more freely about deeply ingrained things than I ever used to. I guess I feel like I've run out of useful things to say - I hate to go over old ground and feel like I'm boring her even more!
Posted by cubic_me on July 28, 2004, at 16:58:41
In reply to Re: Boring my T » cubic_me, posted by B2chica on July 28, 2004, at 9:49:42
Please please please don't worry about the name mix up - we all do it sometimes. This depression thing can get us all doing strange things sometimes! I like Racer a great deal, so it makes me feel even more honoured that you could confuse me with her.
cubic
Posted by cubic_me on July 28, 2004, at 17:00:41
In reply to Re: Boring my T » cubic_me, posted by Poet on July 28, 2004, at 14:06:36
Its good to know that I'm not the only one - it may even be that we're not all as boring as we think we are. My T was saying today that overcoming depression can be about becoming more 'ordinary', even though we are all extraordinary...something to ponder!
Posted by cubic_me on July 28, 2004, at 17:08:19
In reply to Re: Boring my T, posted by JenStar on July 28, 2004, at 16:46:28
Hi JenStar,
I think in part you are right, I do sometimes think that I am boring, but I seem to have become less boring and more interesting to people over the past few months, so when I think about it, I'm not really that boring in general! Just with my therapist.
I don't tend to tell my T all the things that I do in my life, because they don't seem neccessary for therapy. I have a very busy life with university, hobbies, work, friends, voluntary work etc, but I don't feel that I want to talk about them in therapy because it feels like bragging (in a way). Maybe that's where my problem lies. I tend to play down everything.
Thanks for your thoughtful response, I'm often thinking of 'different' things to do, that I wouldn't have considered before. Last month I got my tongue pierced, before I few months ago I wouldn't have dreamed of actually doing it due to the mild social stigma surrounding it, but now I've got the confidence to ignore it and do what I want to do.
Posted by JenStar on July 28, 2004, at 19:18:05
In reply to Re: Boring my T » JenStar, posted by cubic_me on July 28, 2004, at 17:08:19
see, you sound like a fabulously interesting person! If your T thinks you are boring, then he/she isn't taking the time to ask the right questions or prompt you to talk. Chances are, though, that your T doesn't think that at all.
Also, I think it's OK to brag a bit; it's usually even needed in today's tough business & academic world. I know it's hard to find the right balance betw. bragging and positive self-promotion.
Anyway, I guess I'm a big fan of bringing up any concerns about this with your T, and see what develops. I'm sure it would make the session more lively, anyway. :)
Take care! (you interesting person, you!)
JenStar
Posted by Malthus on July 29, 2004, at 8:21:32
In reply to Re: Boring my T » B2chica, posted by cubic_me on July 28, 2004, at 16:58:41
Hi B2chica:
Thanks so much for your message. As it turns out TofuEmmy was directing the barb (not maliciously but jokingly) at Dr. Bob because he once told her to "please stick to writing". I totally misunderstood that. (I'm working on defensiveness in therapy).
Gracias de nuevo,
Malthus
Posted by B2chica on July 29, 2004, at 9:19:11
In reply to Thanks B2chica, posted by Malthus on July 29, 2004, at 8:21:32
de nada Malthus
and good to see you on other boards.
i kinda figured it was something like that Tofu's pretty cool, real sweetheart with spunk.
b2c.
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