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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 21 of 21. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by rayww on September 10, 2003, at 10:12:20
What loss are you feeling at this moment, other than loss from a death?
Are you suffering physical pain?
What emotional pain are you emoting?
Are you in a spiritual void?
Are you in social vacuum?
A mental frenzy?
Think, physical, mental, social, spiritual.
Posted by Sebastian on September 10, 2003, at 12:29:33
In reply to Name a Pain, posted by rayww on September 10, 2003, at 10:12:20
Loss of my own sanity, loss my own life (all the time wasted: in my room, in hospital, dropping out of school, being psychotic). Social vacume, big yes. Mental frenzy. Pain when he was in hospital. No physical pain other than what I inflicted on myself. I tryed the spiritual world, but not of any use or relife. Emotional, big yes all kinds.
Seb
Posted by galkeepinon on September 10, 2003, at 13:46:58
In reply to Name a Pain, posted by rayww on September 10, 2003, at 10:12:20
What loss are you feeling at this moment, other than loss from a death?>>>my relationship with my father.
Are you suffering physical pain?>>>occassional heqdaches, but nothing major anymore since starting Lexapro.
What emotional pain are you emoting?>>>not sure I understand this question. What does emoting mean? lol
Are you in a spiritual void?>>>Somewhat, I slip, but I am spiritual, I just slip in my beliefs sometimes. I do pray.Are you in social vacuum?>>>I have been isolating myself a lot lately, but I have some good friends, just don't feel like socializing much sometimes.
A mental frenzy?>>>Not so much a mental frenzy, just thinking about what I need to do to reach my goals, but thinking and doing are 2 totally different things for me. I need to start doing.
Thanks for these, I really like being asked questions like this.
:-)
Posted by Dena on September 10, 2003, at 15:27:45
In reply to Name a Pain, posted by rayww on September 10, 2003, at 10:12:20
Here goes, Ray -
What loss are you feeling at this moment, other than loss from a death?>>> I'm feeling concerned (because I was told that I exhibit obsessive-compulsive tendencies) I'm feeling fearful, because it's been suggested that I stop posting on these boards.
Are you suffering physical pain?>>> Full bladder pain (well, that speaks for the compulsive tendency - I've been sitting here, typing with my legs crossed so that I can finish this post, rather than just get up & use the bathroom!). Seriously, I'm aware of a tightening in my stomach area (anxiety).
What emotional pain are you emoting?>>> anxiety.
Are you in a spiritual void?>>> only that I'm aware that I'm reluctant to listen to what God may be telling me through this person (my priest's wife). I'll get quiet soon enough & listen, after I pitch my hissy fit first.
Are you in social vacuum?>>> Ha! I'm surrounded by multitudes! I interact with people every day, like it or not (not referring to my children here). I could use a best friend, though. I lost one recently, although our relationship wasn't healthy for me, I still feel the void.
A mental frenzy?>>> Yes, my mind is very full, & I'm exhausted trying to keep track of all the different categories (trying to control?).
Think, physical, mental, social, spiritual.
>>>I know I'm not at peace. I'm resisting letting go of some things I think I need to. I have such a hard time letting go...
Shalom, Dena
P.S. Ok, just took a break to check out OCD. I took several self-tests. Nope, I'm not OCD. It seems that I do have obsessive-compulsive tendencies - I can really get charged up with something that interests me, & I feel eager to pursue it, & annoyed when I get distracted. So what's that? Just normal? Creative? An overwhelmed Mama in search of diversion?
Posted by galkeepinon on September 10, 2003, at 16:39:59
In reply to Re: Name a Pain » rayww, posted by Dena on September 10, 2003, at 15:27:45
Hi Dena:-) Oh how I pray so hard for the courage and strength to let go of the past. I hear you!>>>>>I know I'm not at peace. I'm resisting letting go of some things I think I need to. I have such a hard time letting go...
goes for me too!
You summed it up.
Thank you.
Posted by rayww on September 11, 2003, at 16:26:50
In reply to Re: Name a Pain » rayww, posted by Sebastian on September 10, 2003, at 12:29:33
> Loss of my own sanity, loss my own life (all the time wasted: in my room, in hospital, dropping out of school, being psychotic). Social vacume, big yes. Mental frenzy. Pain when he was in hospital. No physical pain other than what I inflicted on myself. I tryed the spiritual world, but not of any use or relife. Emotional, big yes all kinds.
>
> SebSeb, when you feel emotional pain are you looking at "it" from outside your body, or are you focusing inward? Peace is only found on the inside. If you don't know what I mean, you are likely used to looking at it rather than pressing on it. There is a difference. If "it" is too painful to touch, touch "something" that causes a similar emotion and work on that. "It" is the "emotion" we are trying to heal, not the situation that caused it. Even when the situation gets healed, we can still lug around those unhealed emotions. Can you understand this?
Posted by rayww on September 11, 2003, at 16:31:14
In reply to Re: Name a Pain » rayww, posted by galkeepinon on September 10, 2003, at 13:46:58
> What loss are you feeling at this moment, other than loss from a death?>>>my relationship with my father.
>
> Are you suffering physical pain?>>>occassional heqdaches, but nothing major anymore since starting Lexapro.
>
> What emotional pain are you emoting?>>>not sure I understand this question. What does emoting mean? lol
>
> Are you in a spiritual void?>>>Somewhat, I slip, but I am spiritual, I just slip in my beliefs sometimes. I do pray.
>
> Are you in social vacuum?>>>I have been isolating myself a lot lately, but I have some good friends, just don't feel like socializing much sometimes.
>
> A mental frenzy?>>>Not so much a mental frenzy, just thinking about what I need to do to reach my goals, but thinking and doing are 2 totally different things for me. I need to start doing.
>
> Thanks for these, I really like being asked questions like this.
> :-)
>
>thanks for answering. Your answers describe how I felt when I was on epival and topomax. Kind of shut down, unable to make a plan and follow through on it. Thought processes stunted, general state of being in la la land. lol cant even say land.
Posted by rayww on September 11, 2003, at 16:37:06
In reply to Re: Name a Pain » rayww, posted by Dena on September 10, 2003, at 15:27:45
people who love me are always telling me I spend too much time on the internet. I think they worry I will meet someone and run off. Isnt that silly?
I love your FLYlady.net idea. She actually blesses you with time to spend on the computer as a reward for doing your work good. (good work, there it is again)lol
Dena do you like to swing high with ideas? Do you like it in the far out zone? me too.
Posted by rayww on September 11, 2003, at 16:51:31
In reply to Name a Pain, posted by rayww on September 10, 2003, at 10:12:20
Now that we are thinking, as soon as someone has a current moment of pain/anger/loss/ attached to some insignificant little thing that we can draw an analogy from, please share that, and then the creative ones among us can use it to write a story/parable. Look around your house, yard, world and find the treasure. Cummon, think. It has to be full of a negative emotion though. Fear, anger, sadness, shame.
I had a dry ice moment last week that caused a lot of negative emoting that I could probably go on about. I'll give it some thought.
Posted by libberty on September 11, 2003, at 18:49:48
In reply to Name a Pain, posted by rayww on September 10, 2003, at 10:12:20
i am new here and felt compelled to post a followup
I feel the loss of my youth, I sometimes feel like everything happened to me a long time ago, like my life is over and I am just 45....
My low back hurts and my head feels full of cotton.
My emotions feel numb, not really sad just lost
Total spiritual void
I have no real friends close, most have passed away. social vacuum yes
Posted by rayww on September 11, 2003, at 19:48:04
In reply to Re: Name a Pain, posted by libberty on September 11, 2003, at 18:49:48
> i am new here and felt compelled to post a followup
> I feel the loss of my youth, I sometimes feel like everything happened to me a long time ago, like my life is over and I am just 45....
> My low back hurts and my head feels full of cotton.
> My emotions feel numb, not really sad just lost
> Total spiritual void
> I have no real friends close, most have passed away. social vacuum yes
>
>Welcome libberty. I see by your name that you have hope. Take a really good look at your list and see if there is one item that you could feed just a little. If we move our feet forward we will go somewhere. If we work we will accomplish something. You have discovered a community of potential friends here. If you feel a spiritual void it means you are starving to be filled. Stay with for awhile.
Posted by Dena on September 11, 2003, at 19:53:39
In reply to Re: Name a Pain » Dena, posted by rayww on September 11, 2003, at 16:37:06
> people who love me are always telling me I spend too much time on the internet. I think they worry I will meet someone and run off. Isnt that silly?
>
> I love your FLYlady.net idea. She actually blesses you with time to spend on the computer as a reward for doing your work good. (good work, there it is again)lol
>
>
> Dena do you like to swing high with ideas? Do you like it in the far out zone? me too.
>Dear Ray -
Run away with someone? Sounds intriguing. I know you spend a bit of time posting here & writing to me - are you going to run away with me? Where are we going? This could be fun!
Tell your friends that it's ok, I'm not an axe-murderer.
My youngest sister was desperate to get married at age 30, especially since she'd never really dated (I despise dating & the lessons it teaches) & both of her older sisters were married & actively breeding. Anyway, she got hooked on chat rooms & ended up flying off to Europe three times in pursuit of Prince Charming (we were terrified that she would meet an axe-murderer!). Long story short, she's married to guy number 3! He turned out to be a wonderful man who just adores my sister - she's pregnant with their second child. However, she lives in Sweden, near the arctic circle, so I don't get to see her often.
I also love FlyLady. She's a joy & a life-changer. I'll follow up on your "good works" scenario in another venue...we can kvetch together!
Oh, yes, I do indeed like to get off & running with ideas/projects/brainstorms! They're the spices to my life.
Shalom, Dena
Posted by Dena on September 11, 2003, at 19:56:14
In reply to Pain 2, posted by rayww on September 11, 2003, at 16:51:31
A dry ice moment??!!?? Is that anything like a bad hair day? This I gotta hear...
Shalom, Dena
Posted by Dena on September 11, 2003, at 20:01:57
In reply to Re: Name a Pain, posted by rayww on September 11, 2003, at 19:48:04
Welcome, Liberty.
I agree with Ray - you have the potential to connect with us here. Maybe it can be a safe place to re-enter life.
I've felt the pain & numbness you've described. Can you share a bit more with us about it? We've all been wounded here, & we'll treat you with dignity & respect.
I hope you give this a try.
Shalom, Dena
Posted by Sebastian on September 11, 2003, at 20:12:16
In reply to Re: Name a Pain, posted by rayww on September 11, 2003, at 16:26:50
Both, and most of the pain I felt in psychosis was on the inside although it seemed to start on the outside. Most of these times I wasn't taking medicine. The pain would consume me inside and out, I wouldn't move just sit and feel the pain because it wouldn't go away, it was horrible. I started small and got worse, I honstly don't remember how it stoped? Maybe someone would come home and threaten to take me to the doctor, because I was lying on the floor? It hurt, a lot.
The physical pain was when I didn't have control of my body, because I was still(not moving), I would lose track of surroundings(I still had the idea that my next more would hurt) but still I would move: hiting the spicet on the bathtub, fall in the shower, etc.. Once I spent 3 days in my room, I didn't move, not to eat, drink, or bathroom. This is what I did after the inner pain. I was still consumed with inner pain but inflicting outer pain as well. I spent months at a time doing this, I would stay in the place in the house that I was put: couch, floor, where ever. And not move, no mater how stiff and soure I was. I refused to eat as well, drink too. Its a good thing they put me on zyprexa! As long as I have been taking the medicine I am able to: eat, sleep, and live a normal life. Unfortunaty I have been taking zyprexa for 5 years now, still when I stop: All the pain, lack of sleep, and can't eat comes back. I want off the medicine so bad.
In need of major help
Sebastian
Posted by Sebastian on September 11, 2003, at 20:20:24
In reply to Re: Name a Pain, posted by libberty on September 11, 2003, at 18:49:48
I've lost my youth too. Sitting in the house in a psychosis. I would watch TV and see all the hot people on TV having a good time and want to be there but knew I couldn't becase I didn't want to move. Then it was back to medicine and I would move but not able to have fun some how?
Seb
Posted by libberty on September 15, 2003, at 22:38:36
In reply to Re: Name a Pain, posted by rayww on September 11, 2003, at 19:48:04
HI
I adopted the name libberty from my niece, not sure if she didn't know how to spell liberty and chose this one or just liked the neat spelling, it represents my womanhood to me.
I have been working and I am on truehope suppliments, but the void from losing 4 of my closest friends has sucked the life out of me. I hope I return, sad to feel like it is all over at 45.thanks for the welcome.
dee
Posted by libberty on September 15, 2003, at 22:40:04
In reply to Re: Name a Pain, posted by Dena on September 11, 2003, at 20:01:57
HI Dena,
Let me try to explain a bit about me. I had a good friend named Tammy and her husband Jimmy got sick with cancer in 96. Jimmy went thru surgery to remove his lung and we all hoped and tried to help as best we could but we lost him, in 98. My ex hubby then got sick with cancer of the esophagus in Sept of 98. He lived with us (my hubby and me) and was much better.
I moved to Texas in 2000 since I wanted to get away from my husband who was sneaking around and using drugs behind my back( I thought that was all behind us but... he picked it back up several years later) Luke(my ex hubby) had a reoccurance of his cancer in his liver and lung. I came home and helped him pass on in 2000. I was miserable in Texas so I moved home in Sept 2001.
I thought being close to Tammy who had lost her husband Jimmy might help me get thru the loss. But Tammy who had Manic depression as well as me, quit taking her medication and was not tracking well. She had a fatal accident in Dec 2001. My husbands bestfriend and another very close friend of all of ours, decided to end his life in Jan 2002.
It has just been like living in a dream.long story, sry
thanks for listening.dee
Posted by Dena on September 16, 2003, at 10:53:52
In reply to Re: Name a Pain, posted by libberty on September 15, 2003, at 22:40:04
Dear Dee -
What a horrible chain of tragedies you've lived through! Of course it would take a terribe toll on you, as it would anyone. No words I can offer would bring you solace or peace, but I can pray that the God of all comfort would bring you the peace which passes all understanding...
Nothing else can suffice.
Shalom, Dena
Posted by libberty on September 16, 2003, at 15:11:36
In reply to Re: Name a Pain » libberty, posted by Sebastian on September 11, 2003, at 20:20:24
This sounds like depression to me, I struggle with it alot and maybe it is just a real part of grief, but something you and I both need to learn how to deal with. There are happy people all around me. I know they too must have their problems but they experience joy. I hope to defeat this thing and deal with whatever has caused this numbing of my emotions.
I hope you can too, if I find some answers I will share.
dee
Posted by ramsea on January 22, 2004, at 10:08:32
In reply to Name a Pain, posted by rayww on September 10, 2003, at 10:12:20
What loss-----right now the loss of youthfulness, and major loss of self-respect through loss of my career and now due to my middleage loss of hope of ever having a career, and loss of hope of ever having friends again---lots of connected loss due to being disabled by bipolar illness.
physical pain? discomfort in the weight gained through meds, but physically I feel pretty okay. Just the weird sensation of always being on the brink of tears
emotional pain-----well, that is tied up with the physical for me. in my belief system the body describes the emotions, spirit and mind. It's all One. Emotional pain right this second? That danged sorrow just hovers and hovers.
spiritual void? No, as I see all things as part of all things. No separate place for there to be a void called spiritual.
social vacuum? Well, YES. I have been vacuumed up and exist inside a dusty, messy place alongside dog hairs, lost coins, and piles of eensyweensy bugs. The Cosmic Housewife failed to see me as I have become for all said purposes an invisible woman. In-valid.
Mental frenzy???? Well, sure, I was one frenzied invisible woman last night. Thankfully my beloved partner helped me find a way to get myself back on track. But it was hard. Unpleasant. Out of control. Now the snake is back in the basket.
I wish I could come to terms with middle-age, loss of career, loss of "fame" (place in the community, friends, respect of family), loss of prettiness (at least I always felt I had something to offer people who hardly cared at all that I was bright and talented, it was always the looks that they seemed interested in, worried over (you aren't gaining weight are you???), and gave credit for (my father-in-law told me when I was 22 that the only thing I should try and do with my life was to stay pretty------I wanted to go to university you see, and had an IQ over 150 and so it seemed reasonable, but yadda yadda yadda).
I am aware that I have heaps of resentments (the big evil to any dr.bill members) as well as a heavily indented space on the pity pot where my ample derriere has sat many a night through.
I doubt anyone will read this but if you do, smiles for you. Hope you are okay. and Stay Well.
This is the end of the thread.
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