Posted by kerria on August 21, 2005, at 1:13:08
In reply to Re: Open Letter to my Psychology 101 Teacher, posted by alexandra_k on August 20, 2005, at 23:05:22
(((((((((alexandra)))))))))))
i understand the fear of that so well. It's so hard to be in school and start falling apart. i hope that it never happens for you.
That's what keeps me from registering now- i don't know if i'm stable enough to take even one class now. Sometimes the distraction is good- parts can come that write papers and study different subjects and i'll have a reprieve of my symptoms. The only thing is the separateness is so hard. i was never able to do school work at home. it's not that i didn't know papers were due or that i was a student- but i had to physically be at school in order to switch to the school parts.
i'd go home and look at my notes and it was just as if someone else wrote them and i had no understanding.
There's some parts that really want to go back and finish though. Maybe always be in school:) They were born for that job a long time ago.Most of all the memories that i have about childhood are in school. i can't remember much of anything but i remember all of my teacher's names from first grade up and some of my friends. i remember my brothers walking with me to school but not at home. i guess i was switching the same way back then, too.
Hey alexandra- It's healthy to go to school- you never learn everything about a subject and you can become a world authority on something.
i always read the horticulture science journals and think- wow- i can be an expert on growing pears ...or cherries. An agricultural consultant.
Or go into research. Too bad we can't do math.
Even my horticultural parts are separate though- why i have trouble at work- there is one the uses pesticides and one that's against using them. i'm so happy i don't have to apply at work because later the other part would cringe at hearing the pesticide dripping from the benches into the ground. And i would be so afraid about exposure when i remember from home what happened. It's a mess to have separate parts. Whatever i do is wrong to someone inside.alexandra- when do you begin classes this semester? Try not to worry. i try to see studying as a 'vacation' for my brain- it can relax and do what it's supposed to for a change.
i worry about therapy effect also. It get me so worse- why i'm angry about finding out what my dx was. It's so hard to try to communicate with parts- all T wants to do now. Do you have DID also, i forgot if you do.
Take care,
kerria
poster:kerria
thread:544332
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/studs/20050329/msgs/544636.html