Posted by hyperfocus on December 4, 2012, at 2:46:53
In reply to Why do i find it hard to accept i'm ill?, posted by capricorn on December 2, 2012, at 20:04:24
Have you ever been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome or any form of autism? I can't say for sure based on just your post, but what you described sounds to me exactly what an adult person with Asperger's Syndrome goes through.
People with Asperger's have severe deficits in social cognition and other key emotional intelligence areas which leads to terrible difficulty in life, despite being intelligent and empathic and compassionate. Making and keeping friends, and identifying and keeping away from enemies is very hard, which obviously leads to severe bullying in schools. Aspies have a number of key deficits with reading other people's emotions and intentions, monitoring and identifying their own emotions - alexithymia -- and being able to 'solve' social problems (like telling their teachers somebody is bullying them.) They have low muscle tone and bad fine motor control which leads to physical clumsiness and uncoordination and bad handwriting. Aspies have often severe problems with inattention and organization and planning and motivation that often mimic ADD and lead to teacher frustration and rejection, despite the person being considered intelligent. Verbal and abstract reasoning skills are often far ahead of their peers but they may get frustrated in subjects like math due to a reduced working or short-term memory. Aspies are often hypersensitive to other people or loud noises and may feel overwhelmed and disturbed in a typical classroom.
Social anxiety and depression are epidemic among people with Asperger's. PTSD symptoms like dissociation and physical symptoms like chronic fatigue resulting from somatization of distress can occur if the abuse and social isolation in school is addressed. Aspies suffer a lot of emotional distress and can be diagnosed with multiple psychiatric illnesses throughout their life. Their lack of affect and apparent emotional coldness can lead to diagnoses of schizoaffective disorder. Problems with rage and frustration and emotional dysregulation can lead to diagnoses of bipolar. Aspies process internal emotions atypically -- sometimes it can appear as if negative emotions are a separate voice inside your head -- and it can lead to diagnoses of psychosis.
If any of this sounds familiar then there's a ton of stuff on the net about Asperger's. For me reading Tony Attwood's book was like opening a door that had been closed my whole life. Pretty much everything you've written describes what my life has been like, so maybe it could do the same for you. At any rate you should know that nothing that is wrong with you can't be fixed, you just need to have the right knowledge about yourself.
C-PTSD: social phobia, major depression, dissociation.
Asperger's Syndrome.
Currently: 50mg amitriptyline single dose at night. 75mg Lyrica occasionally.
Significantly improving.
poster:hyperfocus
thread:1032352
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20120929/msgs/1032428.html