Posted by hyperfocus on October 5, 2011, at 17:53:52
In reply to Re: Retribution, posted by Dinah on October 3, 2011, at 15:23:40
> If I stooped to retribution, I would feel as much contempt for myself as I feel for them.
That's how I feel too I guess...when I'm lucid. When I get these awful shame attacks I feel like no punishment would be bad enough for the people who hurt me. Getting your face slammed into a locker or having rumors started about you is a long way off from committing suicide or having lifelong mental illness. If you get angry with someone and hit them with a brick you will still get charged with manslaughter or wounding with intent, regardless of whether or not you wanted to kill or disable them. I guess it's not so much retribution I want as justice.
> Tho I admit to feeling some understanding as to why people would do dreadful things to bullies. School is such an insular world. There isn't any of the perspective there is in the real world. It feels as if everyone is out to torment you, and it will never ever end. You can't get away from it.
I'm not really sure it's so insular and exceptional. Seems to me like people will gang up and take advantage of you if they can, wherever you go in life. Workplace bullying or community scapegoating is very prevalent. Just like CE said it can be lawyers, engineers, doctors, even your own doctor. I admit it can happen unconsciously where we don't even think we're doing something wrong - think Boo Radley and the Radley family from To Kill a Mockingbird. But it just seems to me that some or most people have a real keen desire just to hurt other people regardless. That's what I was asking in the last thread - if there's some sort of evolutionary instinct for people to band together and pick off the weakest. Most people on their own would not feel capable of hanging and castrating a man or putting a burning tire around his neck. But get 10-15 people together in a group and it's like there's no evil they're incapable of doing.
C-PTSD: social phobia, major depression, dissociation.
Currently: 300mg amitriptyline single dose at night.
Also: Allegra, 1000mg Vitamin C.
Improving.
poster:hyperfocus
thread:998638
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20110910/msgs/998839.html