Posted by hyperfocus on November 17, 2010, at 8:41:54
In reply to Re: FYI, posted by SLS on November 17, 2010, at 7:32:19
like Laney from Mad Men would say. The ironic thing about this thread is that you all are doing to Phillipa what you accuse her of doing. Yes, it hurts when you think people are gossiping about you, but it also hurts when people gang up and talk about you and say hurtful things about you as if you're not there.
I'm not trying to take sides here, or dismiss the action under question. I'm just saying we all have faults and make errors in judgment. I think all of the people in this thread are good people but this public chastisement of Phillipa is not right. If someone was new to this site and had to judge this place by some of the comments made in this thread, what would they think?
Whatever you accuse Phillipa of, you have to understand that every community has its own mode of communication. On Facebook, from what I know, the mode of communication is different from PB. There's a reasons tens of millions of teenagers are glued to FB every hour of the day, and not to PB. FB has built a billion-dollar company on, basically, people saying things about other people. This is a really horrible metaphor but I think of PB like a greenhouse of potted plants, while Facebook is like a massive Amazon rain forest.
The lesson here, to me, is that things that are said casually on FB and elsewhere may carry a huge amount of weight and significance here and may indeed hurt someone badly. Posters should be aware of the differences between PB and elsewhere on the net and think carefully about what they say here. It's a mistake in judgment not to understand these differences, but it doesn't deserve this kind of public scourging. We are all vulnerable here, Phillipa included.
> I actually feel sort of sad when I think about someone who gains so much from gossip, because I get the impression that they are striving for something, maybe esteem, that they aren't getting elsewhere in life. And I believe we all are worthy of esteem, at the very least, self-esteem. So I feel sad about it.
Yeah well I feel sad that in a place where vulnerable people come for support they have to read something like this.
poster:hyperfocus
thread:970146
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20101029/msgs/970584.html