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Thanks everyone. I think I'm better now.

Posted by TexasChic on January 18, 2008, at 18:58:53

In reply to Re: you are not so awful.... Jay + TC, posted by Kath on January 18, 2008, at 15:49:05

I kept trying not to think of it, then I stumbled upon the myspace page a mutual cousin of ours set up in memory of him - with pictures when he was a little kid and everything. That's when I realized the funeral took place yesterday. I just got overwhelmed. It was exactly what I was trying to avoid.

But I feel better now. I sat by the fireplace last night crying, watching the fire and talking to him. I ran out of wood and started burning cardboard, paper, even a couple of old paperback books. For some reason watching the fire felt like... I don't know, some tribute or connection or something. I didn't want it to go out. I finally let it go though and went to bed. Today I went out and got a new hair cut and bought a new suit for the interview. It still makes me cry to think of him, but I'm not all distraught like I was last night.

Thanks for all the kind words and advice. It really does help.

-T

 

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