Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on January 18, 2008, at 15:01:09
In reply to I'm so awful- death trigger hope I did that right, posted by TexasChic on January 17, 2008, at 20:56:35
> My cousin Johnny died last week. I've been trying to push it out of my mind, but I looked at another cousin's myspace page and saw "RIP Johnny" and just lost it. I feel so guilty. He reached out to me, but I was busy trying to get my own sh*t together. He moved pretty far away, so it wasn't like I could see him, but still, I could have kept in touch. He was homeless, got caught shop lifting and died of an asthma attack running from the cops. The funeral was today and I just couldn't handle it. Now I feel so guilty. But after my Grandmother's funeral, I just couldn't take it. But my family needed me. I actually asked him if it was okay if I missed his funeral and he said yes. He would have understood. I'm just so sad.
>
> -TOhhhh TC. Do you mind if I steal some of these from you for a bit? ((((((((((((TC)))))))))))))))).
Please don't feel "shamed" or bad, because your reaction is just human. As common as it is....death is still one of the hardest things in the world for us to approach.
It feels uncomfortable, and it hurts like no other pain we know. I read a story in the paper just recently about a house that caught on fire, and the owner died in it. The paper had a picture of the owner's little dog sitting out front of the burned-out home, and the dog didn't move for over a few days. It was grieving, I guess.Honestly, TC, I think there are a few things you might want to look into. You might want to find someone in person to talk to about it. This is an issue that doesn't go away, of course, as we get older, we only have to deal with more. It can lead to MAJOR mental health problems....trust me, I got a bit of a head start in this area...heh. I don't honestly claim to have *the* answer, 'cause I am still trying to figure it all out. What I might suggest...do something that you think would be special just between you and your cousin. Maybe light a candle, and just sit in a corner with it. Then it's just him and you. Do you write in a journal, or poetry, or anything like that? Do something...and it can even be the smallest thing..as a 'tribute' to him. It doesn't have to be anything major.
If you ever want someone to chat with...don't be afraid to babblemail me and we can talk further somehow.
Take very good care...
Jay
poster:Jay_Bravest_Face
thread:807331
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20080104/msgs/807446.html