Posted by alesta on March 2, 2007, at 15:31:13
In reply to Re: bad day....:( » alesta, posted by Kath on March 1, 2007, at 15:25:28
> Hi A,
Hello! :-)
>
> Thanks for posting your apology. I read it as very sincere.
>
> As to the friend exploding. You're probably right; she is under a LOT of stress & sometimes WE are the 'straw that breaks the camel's back'. Sometimes WE happen to be or do or say the thing that is just simply the LAST STRAW & someone flips out. It is NOT cool; it's not OK that they direct everything else at us, but it happens!!Absolutely! Very good points, Kath.:)
> Also, I wonder about when we help a friend come to a very difficult realization - one that's going to be VERY hard for them, because now they REALIZE something is not alright in their life & now they have to either change, or continue to live in that situation, while knowing that it's NOT OK.
> It wouldn't surprise me if a part of them has some frustration about it. I have experienced that myself. I could see myself feeling a kind of frustration with someone who helped me arrive at a place where I could SEE that something in my life wasn't okay & that to take care of myself, I really should do something different....and that might be very hard.
> If I weren't careful, I could feel sort of teed off at the person.
> Not saying it's that in this case; I tend to think it's the last straw thing. But I just wanted to mention it.Yes, I totally see what you're saying...I sort of am pretty good at guiding a person toward what's good for them without crossing that line and pissing them off...probably partially because she knows I really am trying to help and am not telling her advice based on any selfish reasons. She actually appreciated my taking the time and energy to care enough to give advice about the relationship to her (in a subtle diplomatic way without being pushy AT ALL...i know that if you push someone they tend to want to resist and go the other way sometimes..i know when to stop "advising" so to speak..), so that's not really it..he's been more verbally abusive to her lately and she is just starting to lose it (probably one reason she and I are friends...we have dealt with a lot of the same types of men...she, too, has dated mainly abusive types. although i have dated good guys, too)
Hope i'm coming across ok today...i need to get out of this funk/fog and try and post some fun stuff or something and stop bringing everybody down...i'm so self-absorbed when i'm depressed when posting online. sorry for that.
> hugs, Kathhugs to you! thanks for forgiving me and for your posts! I hope you are well!! :-)
Alesta
poster:alesta
thread:735906
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20070223/msgs/737740.html