Posted by LJRen on October 28, 2006, at 23:33:26
In reply to Re: I am tired » LJRen, posted by jammerlich on October 28, 2006, at 19:19:57
> Sorry you're so able to identify with these feelings. It sucks, doesn't it?
Yes, it does suck. Sometimes it hurts so much it feels like my heart will implode in on itself.
> The "crummy mother" hole is what I've been calling the big emptiness and pain I feel inside because I didn't have a very good mother.
Ah, another name for that feeling.
After my near fatal car accident at 17, my mother finally realized she had been treating her only child like sh*t. Now 19 years later, we have a close relationship but she will never have a nuturing, tender heart. Still today she continues to blame me everytime I feel bad. Everything bad that happens to me is always somehow my fault.>I sort of feel like I'm the little bird (wasn't it a bird??) in the Dr. Suess book that went around asking everything and everyone, "Are you my mother?" Only, I'm asking, "Will you BE my mother?"
Reading this brought tears to my eyes. I feel sorta pathetic. Here I am a grown adult wanting a loving mommy. Talk about wanting what you can't have.
>I hope I'm not sucking all my friend's energy away when she hugs me. Maybe I shouldn't hug her quite so much, just in case.
I often feel guilty about even turning to my friends for emotional support b/c I feel I am inflicting myself on them. I know I'm not fun to be around very often, and I don't want to be responsible for bringing others down with me.
Man, what a miserable trap we're in.
Ren
poster:LJRen
thread:697928
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20061018/msgs/698621.html