Posted by special_k on March 25, 2006, at 19:04:16
In reply to Re: sorry, posted by muffled on March 25, 2006, at 11:06:51
> ***I have a big problem w/anxiety. I also have an addictive personality. I remember awhile back when I was smoking weed to try and feel better and my T says "do you think thats a good idea given your history?" WTF, that kinda pissed me off, but she was right :-(
yeah. that is what i used to do too. and i'd think it wasn't so bad the smoking. but paranoia and depression really are side effects...
> But (mostly) I'm pretty careful with the benzo's. I only get a limited amount so I try not to overuse.
yep. i don't wanna get addicted to them and end up with a worse problem. but i'm not sure what an ok use and an over use consists in. im not sure what kind of amount leads to tolerance i'm not sure what kind of amount leads to withdrawal. i will have a chat to a doc on monday. really. make me. i'm thinking i can' tafford it which is why i've been putting it off. but i can i'm jus t being all funny about that :-(
> I don't use them all the time, just when I am extra struggling(eg .5 clonazapam daily for a week or two, then a bit of a break).
ok. i was looking at the benzo equivalence chart last night and i didn't know there were so many diff. varieties with different properties. i didn't know that. the diazepam / valium had major muscle relaxant effects (IMO) and i think.. I might still be feeling the effects of it today... i don't know how long the effects are meant to last... it was talking about half life and stuff from memory... i'll go and ask over onmeds i think...
>Some make me feel really like I'm on 'drugs'(like street drugs), so I stay away from those, cuz it just upsets me more.
yeah. i think i might like those ones a little too much... i used to take temazapam with some shots of some kind of spirit (don't try that at home cause it really can make you feel horrid if you get the dosage wrong and probably f*ck up your kidneys or somesuch) ... but that was all the way back... when i wanted to feel high off my face... and when i had more of a tolerance to drugs in general and when i really didn't give a f*ck about the damage i might be doing.
> I react very differently to some of them.
ok. i think i'll have a chat with a doc...
> *** Well for me drinking is poison. It most definately messes w/my mood. Its a very powerful drug.
yeah. i've never been much into alchohol. for me... i wanted to feel higher... and i'd never feel high enough before i was spewing. but here i seem to have a better eye on my limit (re spewing) and also... seem to be developing a tolerance (which i actually don't think is a goo dthing)
> Ah take it easy on yourself girl, you do what you can do, nothing wrong with that. Can you give yourself permission to 'hide out' some weekends or the odd day?
i do. maybe... i need to do it more. and be more firm with myself re i'll play pool then i'm going home. i hope i've learned...
> ***my T likens it to my wearing lots of 'protective coats' and sometimes I start to take some of the coats off and relax a bit, but then I feel too exposed and rush to put all those coats I took off back on again, even though its hot and uncomfortable, its what I'm used to. Feeling relaxed and cool and comfortable is scarey to me, cuz its not what I am used to.
yeah.
thank you muffled.
poster:special_k
thread:623978
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060324/msgs/624596.html