Posted by muffled on March 25, 2006, at 11:06:51
In reply to Re: sorry » muffled, posted by special_k on March 25, 2006, at 4:59:34
> Hey. Yeah... I'm a little wary of benzos... I think I like them a little too much... I used to get Temazapam in hospital. To help me sleep. And I liked that very much indeed. Used to be able to buy those... But I think it might be anxiety yeah. I'm not sure what to do... At the moment I have diazepam 5mg PRN. So I've just taken one of those. And I feel a lot calmer. I was looking at how it is meant to be long acting... I don't know about them... Would I be better to take a low dosage of something every day? Or just take a dosage PRN? I don't know. I guess I've got it PRN at the moment... But what does that mean? Especially when sometimes bad patches... Seem to be neverending?
***I have a big problem w/anxiety. I also have an addictive personality. I remember awhile back when I was smoking weed to try and feel better and my T says "do you think thats a good idea given your history?" WTF, that kinda pissed me off, but she was right :-(
But (mostly) I'm pretty careful with the benzo's. I only get a limited amount so I try not to overuse.
I don't use them all the time, just when I am extra struggling(eg .5 clonazapam daily for a week or two, then a bit of a break). Some work faster(like xanax I think) for quick effect for anxiety attack, others seem to be slower acting. Some make me feel really like I'm on 'drugs'(like street drugs), so I stay away from those, cuz it just upsets me more. Can't remember which ones, I think it was ones specifically prescribed for sleeping(oh ya, and the one you put under your tongue too). I dunno bout the one your on, alls I know is I react very differently to some of them. For me clonazapam(.25) and xanax(.25) are ok. I tend to take just as needed these days.
I'm on sertraline for anxiety and depression, but its a low dose(50). When I try and go up, it kinda freaks me some. So I not too sure bout it yet....
>
> > A short term T might be ok, if you know right from the get go that its gonna be that way.
>
> Maybe. But then maybe I'll get attached and then when it is over... Maybe that will be hard for me anyways...***Mebbe only every 2 weeks? And don't get into emotions too much. Keep it to management issues, if you know what I mean? Or a p-doc to work on your meds?
>
> > I dunno if you do any drugs, but if so mebbe there could be withdrawl?
>
> Need to stop drinking :-( Yup. I do. I think that isn't helping. I think that is messing with my mood. Also... Feeling burnt out. Over socialised. Freaking out rather. Need rest. I just want to hibernate for a while. People... Too much anxiety provoking. Need to be by myself. Feel like it is a waste though when before... I envisiged really making the most of the art gallery and stuff to do here. But in reality... I just hide in my room all weekend. I don't do anything. Haven't even been to the suburbs yet. Hardly know my way around CBD. :-(*** Well for me drinking is poison. It most definately messes w/my mood. Its a very powerful drug.
Ah take it easy on yourself girl, you do what you can do, nothing wrong with that. Can you give yourself permission to 'hide out' some weekends or the odd day? You with your hormones, mebbe you could plan ahead? I know I am just not a very social person, so I REALLY need my times away from people. Alone, all alone. Sometimes I'm happy, sometimes I'm licking my wounds, sometimes I just walk around with absolutely no expectations of myself or others.(I think sometimes when I do that I look like a tranced out addict, but I just allow myself the rest of dissociating and ignoring weird looks or comments).
>
> I think people are okay really. It is all about my panic. My freaking out. I think they are okay really. But I freak out. Then need to hide myself away.***my T likens it to my wearing lots of 'protective coats' and sometimes I start to take some of the coats off and relax a bit, but then I feel too exposed and rush to put all those coats I took off back on again, even though its hot and uncomfortable, its what I'm used to. Feeling relaxed and cool and comfortable is scarey to me, cuz its not what I am used to.
But really, ya, lotsa people are ok, but they human, just like me. Bet lotsa them have struggles, just like me. Bet lotsa them hide it, just like me................
>
> > Sometimes its so hard, and it seems so trite to say 'this will pass', but hell......it will......eventually.
>
> Yeah. Thanks.***yeah, right ;-) Just HAD to say it. Its my mantra these days.
>
> > If you could keep posting, maybe that would help you not feel so alone, cuz us babblers are with you all the way. I am anyways for sure.
>
> ((((muffled))))
> thank you.***thank-you, you helped me out lots too.
((((((((((special_k))))))))))
I hope you can get things sorted out some.
I hope you can be nice to you, a little bit at least, you really are a nice one.
And I hope you keep posting so we can know your ok.
And I wish I weren't so far away :-(
Take care you,
Muffled
>
poster:muffled
thread:623978
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060324/msgs/624455.html