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Re: In the Throws of Mania

Posted by AdaGrace on April 11, 2005, at 8:02:24

In reply to Re: In the Throws of Mania » AdaGrace, posted by partlycloudy on April 10, 2005, at 12:31:08

I just feel that life is never going to change. It's like I'm stuck here in this horrific nightmare and I can't wake up. I am surrounded by selfish whiny people at home and by self-serving yet utterly depressed people here at work. This job is killing me. My lifestyle is killing me, and now above all else, I am having some "women" issues. Geeze. When is the fun ever going to start? I've even lost my zest for gardening and working outdoors. I'm tired all the time, and can't sleep. I keep trying to feel something that isn't there, and so I punish myself and everyone around me by staying in a situation that is never going to improve. Friends all seem to be in the same boat and there is only so much lending an ear I can take, or even ask for for that matter. Is this depression? Yeah I think so. Environmental depression. Gas is way over $2 now, and I own an SUV. Yeah me! Money still comes in, and yet I feel as if I am selling my sanity to achieve it. But, there is nothing I can do. When the ship starts to sink...I am the captains first mate...so therefore, I go down as well. The sun shines and I can't enjoy it because I am stuck inside....It rains and I hate the rain. I miss happyness so much.


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