Posted by fallsfall on March 10, 2004, at 14:34:48
In reply to Re: Just remember to take care of yourself » fallsfall, posted by Dinah on March 10, 2004, at 9:45:56
Dinah,
This is my sister's response - sorry, it seems that her magic wand is broken, too:
Organizers can be found at www.napo.net. There are lots of really good people out there to help.
But, you know the answer to this. You can't make someone else change. Eventually the situation may become unbearable and they decide to, and even then it's difficult. Or, it becomes a safety/health issue and legal steps are taken, which can damage relationships.
Framing it in terms of what your friend needs is better than trying to tell the parents what would be best for them (no matter how true it is). Your friend can decide on her boundaries and stick to them, with support from you and others that she's entitled to do that.
We aren't far away from this ourselves, as I'm sure you're aware.
The 81-yr-old man I drive to church had his license revoked by the police chief, and he's mad at him. Certainly his daughter, a state cop, asked the chief to do it. Unfortunately, it's not so simple in matters of household clutter. There is no cop to pull someone's license to subscribe to the newspaper.
Diagramming this like a computer program might help. Break it down into a series of binary decisions (for your friend, not the parents). If she can be confident about each binary choice, she'll have a map to follow, and it may give her the courage she will need if she gets to the point where she really does have to call the health department (or it might be easier to call the fire department, if they are blocking their egresses).
poster:fallsfall
thread:322154
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040305/msgs/322966.html