Posted by octopusprime on November 17, 2003, at 22:36:07
In reply to Re: loneliness is not a phase » octopusprime, posted by Wildflower on November 17, 2003, at 15:23:50
oh wildflower, you hit the nail on the head with this one:
> There are so many times that I wonder, if I weren't around, would anyone miss me?
>i've played variations on that theme through my head a dozen times. i'm lucky that i do have a mother, father, and sister that love me very much, however, we cannot tolerate each other in close quarters. families are usually great for the unconditional love thing, but lousy for lifting the heavy emotional burdens of knowing our true selves and helping to lift us out of our miseries.
for example, i think that if i died, it might theoretically be weeks before my body was found. certainly my parents would not think anything was amiss for more than two weeks; while the people at my workplace would find my absence atypical - would they call the cops?
or for example tonight, i was excited because i received a telephone call. who could it be? somebody exciting? no, a telemarketer. a bored sounding one. i felt like a loser for being excited about getting a phone call.
wildflower, i understand the motivation that would prompt you to leave a job because you felt the coworkers were uncaring. i have manifested that behaviour a bit differently, in extreme slackerdom and indifference. which is not exactly endearing, let me tell you. i wonder what the healthy mechanisms are to cope with these situations - especially when it's "unprofessional" to talk a lot about feelings in the workplace?
and even though we spend the best hours of our waking lives at the workplace (how sad), we can't invest our emotional fortunes in them because they can toss us out on our ears at any second for almost any reason. are we to become automatons at the mercy of our cruel corporate masters?
anyway morbid stuff. if you have found good coping strategies (beyond tea, smoked gruyere, a good book, and good music), please let me know. i feel i exist largely as a cog in the consumer machine. consumer pleasures (such as a good meal) are some of the few true pleasures i have left.
poster:octopusprime
thread:280420
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031113/msgs/280718.html