Posted by octopusprime on September 21, 2003, at 19:55:43
In reply to octopi, posted by kara lynne on September 21, 2003, at 15:20:13
kara lynne, thank you for your good thoughts. i'm not feeling particularly well today. i've got a bit of a headache and i've honed lazy slothdom to an artform. not predisposed to go anywhere or do anything. figure i'll try again tomorrow.
see, here's the magic of not calling him. i don't know if he misses me. i don't know what he's doing. but since i don't have to see him or talk to him, it really doesn't matter how he feels any more. so i project onto him - he's miserable without me! feels like a heel! he's realized what a huge mistake he made! and since i don't call him, my pronouncements are as good as true. although it doesn't cook me dinner at night, it feels better than the truth, which is probably less flattering to my ego.
kara lynne i have reasoned out for you my choice for non-contact. you have made the choice for contact. i hope you understand why you have made that choice, and if contact for whatever reason feels worse to you than non-contact, please take steps to stop.
you know your own heart. don't forget to keep healing for yourself, and not for him. taking pains to track his movements or thoughts detracts from tracking your own and making sure you are moving forward.
kara lynne, you are strong. you were in it 5 years to my barely 1. and i've had experience in being dumped, maybe perversely it gets easier? bleh. keep moving forward and doing what's best for you.
poster:octopusprime
thread:260066
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030913/msgs/262264.html