Posted by fallsfall on June 26, 2003, at 23:34:15
In reply to Re: Therapists - Past and Future, posted by Penny on June 26, 2003, at 20:15:49
> How long had you been seeing the old therapist?
>
8 1/2 years. In the middle I was able to go back to work and had actually made an appointment 3 months out. But I crashed at the 2 month point.> I can certainly see how dependency in some cases might be detrimental, but isn't it necessary for a strong therapeutic relationship? I certainly am dependent on my therapist, and my pdoc, and I was dependent on my last therapist as well, so much so that when she left for maternity leave, I thought I was going to die. Obviously I didn't, but it was one of the most painful things I've ever had to live through.
>
> Neither of my therapists discouraged dependency. I suppose if I went to extremes (though I nearly was obsessed with the last one), it might be different, but I can't imagine not being dependent on them. In fact, the whole point, IMO is for them to get into your head. Not to drown you out, mind you, but to be (at least in my case) your voice of reason and stability in an otherwise unstable, unreasonable (sometimes) mind. I dunno...
>
Yes, I think that there needs to be a dependency. But my old therapist thought that I was too extreme. As some other here have said, though, she may not be tolerant enough of dependency. I think she is particularly sensitive about her personal privacy - so when I started getting too close there she felt she had to act.> Just my thoughts. I would recommend that you discuss with your new therapist the whole closure with the old thing and wouldn't be surprised if he recommends you see her at least one more time, though it's not as though anyone can force you or anything. It might be good, though, to go through what you want to say to her with him beforehand. Might make it more beneficial. Try to take away from the old therapist all the lessons you can, happy and painful. The pain can teach us a lot, don't you think? Even though it sucks!!!
>
During our interview session I told him what was going on with my old therapist. Then he told me about a patient that he had in the past who was dependent. I can't tell you now how he handled it (because my memory doesn't work), but it was clear to me that he had dealt with a very similar situation and everything was OK.> Best of luck with your new therapist! Keep us posted...
>
> take care.
> Penny
>
Thanks!
poster:fallsfall
thread:237299
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030626/msgs/237423.html