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need support for grief

Posted by babs on March 25, 2003, at 7:12:18

Hi - I just need some support right now. My mom was diagnosed with stage IV stomach cancer in December and hospice has just been called in which basically means she is dying. I am having a total meltdown. My meds seem to be preventing me from sinking too low but I really need some advice on how to take care of myself right now. I completely freaked out on my boyfriend of five years this week about us not being married (we live together and until recently I was pretty happy with that arrangement as I know w'll get married some day). I realize now that because I'm losing my mom, I'm afraid of losing him too and marriage seems to be the way I want him to promise to be there forever for me. I know that, although I do want to marry him, it was more grief about my mom than anything else. I've been trying to take care of myself- getting a lot of sleep, TRYING to eat right (hard- don't have much of an appetite), started meditating, but I feel like I'm just falling to pieces over this and I don't want to take it out on him again. I'm just really, really scared. My mom has been my best friend forever and has always supported me through the good and the bad. In some ways, I've already lost her. Because she is so sick, the mom I once relied on for support is gone. How have other people handles this kind of grief? What can I do to help myself so I don't take out my fear and pain on someone I love very much? I've considered a support group but there don't seem to be any where I live. I am seeing a therapist, writing in a journal. I am not, howvever exercising and I know I should be. Is there any reading I can do to amke this time a little easier? Help!


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poster:babs thread:212441
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030322/msgs/212441.html