Posted by syringachalet on March 22, 2003, at 12:12:52
In reply to Re: self-injury/suicide only options??, posted by noa on March 22, 2003, at 10:54:37
Noa,
As usual you show such great insight into what many of us are facing everyday and even more so now when it seems everyones stress level is at 'heightened alert'...
I have learned over the years that for most of us much of our depression is based on the feelings that 'their world is spinning out of control' and thats why they feel so lost.(My clients also tell me this often.)
By trying to help people maintain some kind of balance or 'routine' in their lives, it helps them have some structure in the hourly day.
Having somewhat regular hours that you sleep and are active help you feel physically better and able to mentally deal with those situation that occur in your your daily life.(Routines are esp important for children.. they tell me they feel safer.)I came to the rude realization a few years ago that I cant make anyone be "happy". Helen Keller said it wheh she stated, "Happiness must come from within."
I do care for all my clients but for me to be too emotionally involved with anyone of them would both drain me and potentially cause them to become depended on me.
That is something any reputable therapist would not want for the long haul.
I cant help them with their issues if I get too emotionally involved and cant keep my eye on "the big picture" of keeping them safe.Besides what I think that might make you happy might not be right for you... that should be your decision...
I do my best that my clients have all the physical things they feel they need.
I encourage them to use both the services available as well as those 'natural supports'(if they have family,friends,church,etc) to build their support system that meets their own needs.By encouraging my clients to build their own 'structural framework', they decide at what level many of the people in their world are involved. Some of the people are going to be in their system there because they have to be and others are of limited avaliability.
The goal is for each client to start to feel 'empowered or 'more in control' of those things in his life that he can and is ready to control.
In the beginning, that might not be much but over time, I have had clients who went on to college or vocational school, marry and had families( I honestly was a little considered for a few on this topic).
Some have come back to see me or send me notes or Christmas cards) sharing their triumphs and those times when they slipped up a little and had to 'get back on the horse'.. HELL havent we all???
I guess I hope that people can remember that happiness isnt like a train station you arrive at, but its the traveling and learning to enjoy the everyday things in your lives and knowing that only person you can truly control you and the only person who can truly make you happy is...
you know.Take Care. Be Well.
syringachalet
poster:syringachalet
thread:211231
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030322/msgs/211443.html