Posted by shar on May 30, 2002, at 23:10:32
In reply to How do you act normal?, posted by Gracie2 on May 26, 2002, at 19:36:16
Do you have to agree to wear a bathing suit and not puke if you go? If not, don't worry about it. We almost lost you a while back, and the fact that you are still here (a comfort to me just to see your name) is the most important thing.
'Normal' should be defined first and foremost as something you are comfortable with; if it is everything you are uncomfortable with (wearing a bathing suit--not me, sister!) then it doesn't matter whether it's normal or not. A visit should not have to be hell.
I always gave myself lots of permission to go for walks, not entertain people, be a good listener (I was extremely quiet but polite with his family), read or do crosswords, help out when I could. That kind of thing. I wasn't the shining star, more like the invisible one, and that was ok with me!
I hope you will find a way to be comfortable and do the visit.
Shar
P.S. In a spurt of tremendous gregariousness I told my ex-sister-in-law one of my favorite secret recipes and SHE REVEALED IT TO ALL OF THE GUESTS AT THE GATHERING. Her definition of normal included a big honkin wad of passive aggression, I guess.
> My husband insists that I go with him to visit his family for a week in August. I haven't seen them in years and I am sick with dread. I'm uncomfortable around strangers, lousy at small talk, and would rather drown myself in their pool than appear in a bathing suit. I'm also afraid to fly. My God, how will I ever get through it without puking up Southern Comfort in his mother's spotless kitchen sink?
> -Gracie the Tormented
poster:shar
thread:24681
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020523/msgs/24898.html