Posted by Cece on May 29, 2002, at 0:24:47
In reply to How do you act normal?, posted by Gracie2 on May 26, 2002, at 19:36:16
I agree that you don't (shouldn't) have to go on this trip. I guess alot depends on your relationship with your husband, and what's 'really' going on here.
But if you decide to go (and I don't mean to sound casual or unempathetic- I'm not):Suffering from often severe depression for many years I did a lot of acting and avoiding- not the best alternative, but I couldn't find the help I needed (I have now) and it was a survival tool. I didn't think that I was pulling it off very well, but apparently I did. I was always so very surprised at how little people noticed- even very good friends. Some people thought I was shy (I was, beyond shy actually), or not feeling well (I wasn't), but they didn't see the dread and desperation beneath the surface.
Being shy or not feeling well are not crimes, unless people are into being really nasty, and as Miss Manners might suggest- they deserve nothing more than a chilly look.
Now, having been there myself, I can sometimes see someone else's desperation- and I see how little other people are noticing it.
So, if part of your fear is emotional exposure, you may have less to worry about on that score than you think.And, some people's skin gets sensitive sometimes (dermatologists often don't know why) and even with sunscreen gets very irritated in the sun- no bathing suits allowed while that's going on. And no big explanations required- "oh I wish I could, but I can't these days". If pressed- another chilly look. Sounds like your skin could get irritated given the situation anyway.
And, many people love to have someone else let them do all the talking, with just an occasional "oh, really", or "that's very interesting", or "how nice", or "how awful", etc. in reply. That actually qualifies as 'small talk'!
And, hope you don't mind my saying this, but stay away from the Southern Comfort or anything related. Alcohol actually intensifies mood symptoms even though it might at first seem like it's helping.
I hope that you do whatever works best for you. We all need to take care of ourselves first.Best wishes,
Cece
My husband insists that I go with him to visit his family for a week in August. I haven't seen them in years and I am sick with dread. I'm uncomfortable around strangers, lousy at small talk, and would rather drown myself in their pool than appear in a bathing suit. I'm also afraid to fly. My God, how will I ever get through it without puking up Southern Comfort in his mother's spotless kitchen sink?
> -Gracie the Tormented
poster:Cece
thread:24681
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020523/msgs/24824.html