Posted by sar on November 5, 2001, at 12:55:34
In reply to Re: breakdowns: Sar and Kiddo, posted by Mair on November 4, 2001, at 16:46:50
Mair,
i think what hurts the most is that the voice hasn't shut up in a year and a half. i think about it obsessively throughout the day...at one time it was guns, and now it's the rope thing...
i'm not stressed out really, just hopeless...i described it over on PB.
i think it's distressing to forget about friends/family during depression, but it hurts to be abandoned too. my 2 best friends abandoned me months ago...crushed alot of my belief in the solidarity of friendship and the goodness of human spirit. i have a friend now with PTSD and suicidal depression, and i've visited her in the hospital and written her a letter to let her know that i'm here no matter what...
i didn't buy the rope, i just felt the textures. braided nylon feels best. they also had colored ropes with little graphic designs on them, and i thought it would be--interesting to use a green-and-silver one, or blue-and-beige. i dug through the bin hoping to find a fuschia one or hot pink, but there were none to be found, and i'm such a perfectionist and everything... ;)
no. i know what i need to do--drop the bottle and go back to austin. fill my days with bookselling or coffee-brewing. i hope to feel better then.
thanks for your concern...
poster:sar
thread:13047
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011105/msgs/13523.html