Posted by Greg A. on August 13, 2001, at 13:19:30
In reply to Poor Greg ;) (np), posted by Kingfish on August 12, 2001, at 15:19:29
Hi! I didn’t realize I had positioned myself as the defender of all males. All I can do is say how I feel or think and that is probably not very representative of others.
My wife is not as physically attractive to me as she used to be. But I don’t think that’s the make or break point in our relationship. (I suppose even I may have changed a little over the twenty plus years we have been married) The emotional closeness is definitely not there anymore though. Where did it go? The stress of kids, careers, goals not reached . . . I don’t know. I think, in general, men are attracted to whatever they perceive as good looking in a woman – at least on a primordial level. For me, if there’s no substance there, I quickly lose interest. The urge to reproduce is just not that strong. What do I find attractive, looks aside? Wit. Compassion, Understanding. Intelligence. That’s why I married my wife. All those things are still there but some ingredient has gone missing, or I am not looking as hard as I used to. I read somewhere that serial monogamy is the normal state for humans. Not one partner for life but one partner after another – just one at a time though. This seems to be the path a lot of men go down. Do we not grow up and mature? Do we try to retain our youth by collecting a trophy bride? Probably. Marie – maybe you’re right. Your husband is still in party mode from college. And you are not. Something has made you examine that life and decide to change. I know lots of men like that. They have left wives and children because they got in the way of having ‘fun’. I have a friend who left his young family for another woman. He told me ‘Watch out what you wish for – it just might come true.’ So I will consider things very carefully and try not to act impulsively. I will take my time with this important decision. I sure wish I had a clue as to what makes me tick though.
poster:Greg A.
thread:8862
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010812/msgs/9446.html