Posted by nfc on September 21, 2010, at 3:58:55
In reply to I am so sad in my marriage what to do, posted by DAAIM on September 11, 2010, at 2:57:26
Unless you both find a way on your own so to speak to alleviate things for yourself and your husband, I would suggest couples counseling w/ a good, experienced marriage therapist. One that's caring, a good listener and wants good positive outcomes for you both together. You'll need meds if your anxiety, racing thoughts, depression etc gets worse but the key thing - Most Important is to prevent it from getting worse because w/o the right tools its very difficult to get outta the situation. Talk to caring friends/family that give unbiased listening caring ears. Chuck the advice that seems cold and stone hearted. You gave a lot of insight to how you think/feel. Yet w/ alot of ways our minds work, there's an underlying layer of thinking within each and every one of us thats been molded by all of our life experiences up to our current situation. Thats the thinking you have to decrypt and make sense of because thats what triggers everything else you feel. Try and think through these difficult situations and try not to feel emotionally as much as possible. Like if possible suppress from feeling too emotional. Easier said than done but in doing so it build emotional strength, like you can tolerate more and more and more. Like exercise/weight training. One of the key things that you should aim for is to feel happy and secure as much as possible although you're husband may not show as much attention as he should. As mentioned maybe he just doesnt know how. He may be treating you just like a guy, giving you space when if thats not suitable for you, it'll cause you discomfort as mentioned. Talk openly w/ your husband about anything and everything as much as possible. Honest exchange of communication does a lot to alleviate mental psychological problems. Goal is heal to a point where you're not looking to be cared for but to feel happy and secure that you can care for the other, teach that one to do likewise and you'll care for each other. It's like Attenuation. Syncing up to each other. Take care and hope the best for you both. Sometimes you have to reinvent the marriage so to speak and keep it runnin' on a positive high. Live by that notion, the both of you and wish you both the best.
poster:nfc
thread:962047
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20100831/msgs/963214.html