Posted by DAAIM on September 11, 2010, at 2:57:26
hi, i am so sad and always lately so down and very sad and very lonely don't know what to do--my husband does love me but he does not show it to me we are two people living together but just as two bodies that is it the only time we talk it is either about decisions or about anything that concerns our kids (two boys 9 and 6) i do everything that is wanted from me around the house i don't postpone anything--i don't embaress him infront of his family or friends or coworkers i give him his space and his freedom i checked everything to see if i am doing anything that drives him to this but did not find anything but i stopped giving anything emotional like saying i love you like coming on to him like trying to be nice i just react and i don't act anymore before i used to do lots of nice things like surprising him with either gifts, changing looks, trying new receipies that he might like, anything you name it but now i don't cause i know he does not appreciate it and his reaction is the same for anything i asked him so many times is there is something wrong with me so i would change and make our relationship better he said no nothing at all--i was a working lady by the way full time ever since i graduated from college and i am currently in between jobs since 3 months ago and by the way this has been happening for a long time not recently -- i turned out to be sad all the time, feeling lonely, i just want to be loved for real i mean he tells me that he loves me but i don't beleive him and i don't know why before i used to beleive but now no, i lost interest in going out with him cause i don't feel happy and feel very sad when i look around and see couples holding hands, walking together and talking, cause when we are outside or even inside he doesn't touch me at all he only touches me when we are in bed (sexually) and by the way that happens twice a month and i find it very weired cause i don't mind and when i ask him why not more than twice or three times a month he always give me reasons like i am tired, the kids bla bla bla -- now i even lost intrest in bed as well, and everytime we do anything in bed at the time it is great for both of us we have a great time really till now but my problem is that i feel so bad afterwards cause i let him do that cause i feel so mad at myself that i gave in although i am sad and so mad at him !! mixed feelings i feel crazy now so crazy i am loosing it so many times i thought of divorce and i told him but he doesn't want out and he promises that he would be better but nothing happens i feel that i am talking to a brick i don't know what is wrong i am always mad always loosing it getting it out on the kids always nervous, and upset, don't want to go out anymore don't want to be with him -- want to be just loved in a simple way i want him to appreciate me,tell me nice things once in a while, i just want to be happy and don't know how help me please i don't know if i make sense or not i hope i did--we have been married for 10 years now i keep thinking of a divorce and even tell him but he just doesn't want to !! i keep thinking of hurting him emotionally like he is doing to me but i am not capable of doing so and don't know why probably cause i love him i tried travelling alone as well with no kids also we fight once in any travel cause he is not satisfying me emotionally !! oh and we fight a lot lately only about one subject and that i am sad because of the way he is treating me that makes me at the end feel sad and lonely
DAAIM
poster:DAAIM
thread:962047
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20100831/msgs/962047.html