Posted by lucie lu on October 5, 2008, at 22:07:51
In reply to Re: Do you know where your T....?, posted by healing928 on October 5, 2008, at 18:52:19
> I had a really deep dependence on my t a few months ago, but things are much better. He is in the phone book, but I could never drive by. I thought that was invading his personal space, and he would lose the trust he has in me. Try putting yourself in your t's shoes, how would that make you feel?
>
Healing, I have to respectfully disagree with one of your points. While I think that your desire not to invade his personal space reflects consideration for what he might feel under these circumstances, I think it might not be too productive to apply the "how would you feel" test here. I don't mean to suggest that T's don't deserve consideration; they are humans, hard-working ones at that, and of course they deserve it. But because the relationship is asymmetrical, it is not really possible to put ourselves in our T's shoes. In many ways, they think about us differently than we do them. I don't think I'm expressing this very well. I think what I'm getting at, is that it might be a better solution to the problem to acknowledge and discuss the feelings and urges in session rather than simply not acting upon them.Lucie
poster:lucie lu
thread:855293
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081005/msgs/855948.html