Posted by wishingstar on April 13, 2008, at 18:47:49
I know I dont post much any more, but I've been thinking about something recently and I think some of you might have good opinions to offer. Those who were here 2 years ago, when I used to post much more often, might remember the situation where I was abandoned (in my opinion) by the therapist I'd seen for two years. I was in a rough place and entered a partial day program, and when I did, she terminated me without so much as a phone call and refused a final session. It's in the archives (her name was Anne), if anyone wants to look. I already have significant issues with abandonment and trust and what she did felt like a repeat of a traumatic event from my teenage years. It was very hurtful and took me awhile to get over.
Long story short, I've had the idea of calling her up now, 2 years later, and asking to speak with her in person (I'd be willing to pay) about this and what happened. I'd like to confront her about it, ask some questions, and tell her how it felt to me. It would be done in a respectful, calm way and with the understanding that I might not get what I want from her. I have questions I'd like to ask. I did write her a letter or two right after it happened that were respectful but blunt (I was mad!), and never received a response, but 2 years later, I'm thinking it may be different. My current therapist and I have talked about doing this and she is supportive of it, although we havent really talked in great detail about it yet. She has offered to speak with ex-T also to assure her that my motivation is good, etc and that I'm not just doing it so I can blast her in person.
When I think of ex-T now, I dont have a lot of strong feeling about it. I pass her office almost daily and if I see her car, I sometimes call her a name in my head, but then I let it go. I guess there is some anger and hurt there still, but it doesnt overcome me at all. I think I am in a place where I'm able to handle talking with her. It wouldnt be easy, but I think I could do it.
I had a dream last night about this. I was in her office. I recognized the furniture, the room, etc. I confronted her about what had happened. I dont remember much, but we were arguing back and forth, in a way therapists and clients never would argue. It wasnt real pretty.
I guess I'm looking for opinions on whether you think I should or should not do this, how it should/shouldnt be done, etc. I'd definitely think out what I wanted to say and talk with current T a lot before doing it.. I'm not just going to jump in blind... but any thoughts would be great. I know I have to be ready for the possibility that she wont respond like I want her to. I think I'm at a place where I can handle that if it happened. I just feel the need to get SOMETHING from her, and express to her how bad it felt to me 2 years ago, so I know she hears it from me (whether she validates/agrees with it or not).
poster:wishingstar
thread:823104
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080405/msgs/823104.html