Posted by stellabystarlight on April 6, 2008, at 20:59:39
In reply to Re: Hi, I'm new here...and confused about my thera, posted by Happyflower on April 6, 2008, at 19:40:35
Hi Happyflower,
Thank you for the very moving poem and your reply. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that with your old therapist. "One time I asked him what he thought of me, and he just got really uncomfortable and told me he didn't care about me, he wouldn't attend my funeral if I died, and I forgot what else he said, but it hurt me so bad, I quit"...Wow, I can't even imagine the amount of pain that you must have felt and feel now. God...I'm so scared that this is where I'm headed.
I know you're right deep down...I should find another therapist. The still sane side of me just don't see how any of this "mind blowing love/transference" is helping me in anyway. I just see pain for myself, but I know that it's going to be unbelievably difficult for myself to end it.
I'm somewhat of a love addict and I don't know how to end it unless I fall in love with someone else or he does something really stupid and cruel. I don't think my therapist would ever say "I wouldn't attend your funeral if you died", but he has denied or forgotten some of the emotionally charged things he's said to me. Which seemed really cowardly and turned me off, but I excused it as struggle with fear and guilt.
I'm going to think about what you said and try to really let it sink in. I had no idea that entering therapy with this man would be like entering a twilight zone.
Thank you for your letter. Take care of yourself.
Stellabystarlight
poster:stellabystarlight
thread:821872
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080405/msgs/821935.html