Posted by sunnydays on October 6, 2007, at 17:03:57
So I guess I'm in a crisis. My T is really worried about me. I'm feeling a little bit better the past hour or two (ie, not about to burst into tears any second) but I'm just distracted, can't concentrate, not doing well. Depressed. My T wanted me to go to health services at the university and see if they'd give me a sedative. I won't, for a variety of reasons. I'm not especially anxious or anything, I just think he's really worried and wants me to rest and be gentle with myself, which is really hard for me to do. I feel like a failure at life.
He said maybe we should back off talking about the memories a little and focus on coping until I get back on a more even keel. I didn't tell, and maybe I will, that that made me feel like more of a failure. But I know he just wants to protect me. He's really nice. He told me to take the stone he gave me and put it somewhere in the room where there was enough room for him to sit so that there's a place in my room that I can look at and he can be with me when I need him to be there.
I talked to him on the phone this morning. He sounded really worried. He really wanted me to go get the sedative (although he wasn't sure if they'd prescribe it or not) and he said, "I just don't want you to end up in the hospital because you can't manage how you're feeling, sunnydays." I said, "But I am managing," and he said, "Well, I didn't mean jumping out a window or anything." I didn't ask because I was a little freaked out, but what did he mean then? What else would be not managing bad enough to be hospitalized? I eat, I try to sleep, although that is less successful sometimes than others. I don't SI.
Have any of you felt like this? What did it feel like to you? Does it get better soon or slow?
sunnydays
poster:sunnydays
thread:787328
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070929/msgs/787328.html