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Re: It came up of course » DAisym

Posted by Dinah on June 20, 2007, at 7:52:45

In reply to Re: It came up of course » Dinah, posted by DAisym on June 20, 2007, at 0:34:19

I'm not doing ok. The sleep doctor said that there was nothing wrong with me. That I just probably needed an extra hour or so more than other people, and I should change my schedule accordingly.

Since I sleep many many hours, I can't see how that will work. So that means this is as good as it gets. He told me to keep drinking Red Bull and eating caffeine pills if it helps. My insurance company is giving my pdoc trouble over my provigil prescription. Not only is it almost a month late in coming to me, but I doubt he'll want the hassle anymore so I'll have to ask my sleep doctor, and he doesn't particularly like Provigil so I guess I'll have to increase the caffeine.

I'm going to have to quit work. And since without work, I have to at least cut down on therapy, I'll have to quit everything else that upsets me, so that I can get by.

And I've gotten a taste of adolescent angst lately, and realize I'm not going to make it through my son's adolescence. I doubt he'll be rebellious, but that extreme unhappiness and feeling misunderstood is just not something I can bear from my reason for staying alive and keeping up the fight. I know that's not fair to him, but I feel like I've failed. He's as miserable as I was, so I must be as awful a mom as my mother was.

I can't do it. I really just can't.

 

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poster:Dinah thread:764138
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070612/msgs/764380.html