Posted by Happyflower on June 13, 2007, at 16:23:45
In reply to Re: *Trigger *questions Lots of mother triggers, posted by Honore on June 13, 2007, at 9:33:39
> I'm sorry that you've been through so many traumatic and frightening, and especially, extremely abusive experiences that have left you feeling so different and alone and tormented by memories.
Hi Honore,
Thank you for support now and always. I think I need to clarify what I meant. Sometimes I just write as things come to mind, and sometimes I am not clear in my writing as I would like to have been.
> I think, though, with Daisy, that when you put it as a question, what the question is. Is it that you are asking that only people who have had equally horrific abuse can understand, or help you feel less alone? Nathan_Arizona said that-- and you said that her story helped you finally feel less alone.What I meant about feeling alone, I mean even though I am sad what Nathan had to endure, I am relieved that I am not the only one. Sometimes I feel like I am alone with my experience as a child, because most people have normal childhoods. Most children are not abused. So when I hear that it has happend to others, I feel in a weird way better, that someone else knows how it feels to go through what I have. I belive you can support someone and try to understand how it was, but if you lived a normal childhood, I think you can guess, but to truely know how it feels, you have to have experenced it in some form or another. All abuse is bad, and terrible. But there is such a thing as even worse abuse, and their are levels of abuse. Did it happen just once, or was it habitual, how many differert abuses were there, how many people were the petpetrators, and how often and how long it accured. Abuse is bad even if it happens only once, but there are physical changes to the body that accures with continued abuse. I have physial scars and medical conditions because of the frequent abuse. I don't know if this makes sense or not.
> Maybe it's how you define aloneness-- or the type of understanding you're looking for. Could it be that everyone who never had those violent experiences can't be of any use to you? that their pain, or sense of aloneness and sense of badness and difference from others have no meaning for you-- and their presence really can't reach you-- because they didn't have violently abusive parents?
>
I still believe you can be a help to me, you have so many times. But as someone who has gone through these experience they have a differert perspective that someone who never experienced it. Not nessary better, but different.
It helps to get all kinds of perspectives I believe. I think that is why there are support groups for specific things.> I would be very sad if that were true-- because I like you and have tried to reach out-- about the things that you do choose to share, even if my childhood was more overtly normal.
I like you too, and I would hate to lose you as a friend here. I was just trying to say that I am glad I am not the only one. I don't read much about people going through the level of abuse I have gone through, and sometimes I fell like the ugly duckling. Sometimes I feel I can't post what all have happened to me. I guess I am trying to protect the readers in a sense. But writing helps me deal with it. I just don't want to trigger anyone over my own pain because then I just feel worse, like my disease is infecting other people.
> On one hand>
> I hope you don't push away people like me, or say that only those whose childhoods were so violent and rough can be part of your world. For one thing, then I and others would lose a sense of connection that means something to us---- and also you might lose a connection that could give you support, even if it's a somewhat different support and quality of empathy from that that you feel from those who were more overtly abused.> Thanks for being honest with me, I am sorry if I hurt your feelings.
> Honore
>
>
poster:Happyflower
thread:762676
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070612/msgs/762985.html