Posted by Happyflower on June 12, 2007, at 19:22:42
In reply to Re: *Trigger *questions Lots of mother triggers, posted by Nathan_Arizona on June 12, 2007, at 16:46:48
> I had a crappy mom growing up and a violent father. Did you mother ever actually shoot at you? Well, mine did. It's beyond horrible, it's beyond outrageous, it's just simply reprehensible to do that to a child.
Wow, no mine didn't actually shoot me, but I did have a gun to my head before. Sometimes I wish she would have just put me out of my misery. Can you believe a young child would think that? Did you parents actually really shoot at you? That his horrifying to say the least. My brother learned his violence from my mom. He used to get into a rage like my mom and come after me with knives and baseball bats. He actually busted through my door with one, I am glad my Dad came home right then, who knows what would have happened.
> In my opinion, it's something you never get over - no matter what anyone else ever says, you never get over it. It is built into the fiber of who you are just as much as your blood type.I think nobody gets on why this stuff has to happend, but someone like you who have lived through simular stuff does help me not feel alone. All the time I have been on babble, I haven't heard stuff like I have been through, except for you now. I am glad I am not alone.
> But what you can do is learn to live with it. NOt push it down and pretend it never happened, but to come to terms with it, accept it is there and carry it with you.
I beleive I have accepted it, it was a huge turning point in my therapy to actually admit I was abused, not just my brother. But I am still dealing with some of the effects. I have been having nightmares lately since my grandma keeps writing to me. Her last letter, I did a return to sender and didn't even open it.
> > I spent a lot of time just sort of "locked" in the abuse. I'll never forget the day it dawned on me that I could control my own life and choose how I handled things. It was an epiphany.
>
My T was worked with me a lot on this. Trying to show my life isn't all a sh*t sandwich and I can control a lot of my life, when I was little I had little control.> Yeah, it sucks really bad that we have to play this hand that we are dealt. Yeah it sucks really bad that most people simply do not have the CAPACITY to even fathom what we lived through or how it affects is now.
You are right, and even if you get the guts to try to tell them, they look at you like you must be really f*cked then to have a family like that.
> But, in my opinion, the bottom line is that (as unfair it is) it is our responsiblity to deal with it.
>
True.> I also think that we have a very clear choice into whether we let that abuse continue to define our lives, or whether, as adults, we grab hold of our lives and begin to live for ourselves.
>I am trying to do this, especially now without my husgand support. I like who I am , and that feels good.
> When you are out the petitioning for sympathy and compassion (as I'm sure you are aware) that is REALLY hard to come by and it is the rare person that knows - and I mean really knows.
>
> But I do. And I'm sorry the road in front of you is so long, but it isn't a dead end.
>
> love & take careNathan, thanks for taking the time to post to me. I am sorry you had it rough too, but it also helps me to know that I am not the only one.
poster:Happyflower
thread:762676
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070612/msgs/762745.html