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Re: Working through the anger » Declan

Posted by scratchpad on April 18, 2007, at 8:06:32

In reply to Working through the anger, posted by Declan on April 17, 2007, at 22:53:29

I think that what I'm afraid of is saying or doing something incredibly hurtful in my anger that will to permanent damage to (other people, my relationships with them). Ringing a bell that can't be unrung. Yet the anger insists on going somewhere. It really does feel like my head will pop off if I don't release the pressure.

My therapist is of the mind that a gestalt response - hitting inanimate objects or screaming in an empty room - doesn't help but rather hinders in facilitating the anger. It doesn't resolve anything, but rather creates an outlet that lets the anger and response perpetuate.

I do think this is hormonal. I've been looking back over the past few months and I loose my cool every 28 days or so. Plus when try to remember what it is that has triggered my anger, incidents seem trivial and don't hold up to any kind of examination.

I did grow up in a home where anger was expressed in violent outbursts which were otherwise suppressed if us kids kept our mouths shut and literally were made to sit on our hands to stay out of "trouble". I spent 18 years in a verbally and emotionally abusive marriage, where anger was submerged in multiple martinis. So I don't react well to anger that's directed at me without that cushion of alcohol.

It's a part of me that I loathe and cannot accept.

sp


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