Posted by orchid on May 26, 2006, at 13:16:58
In reply to frustrated with T..., posted by Karolina on May 25, 2006, at 23:18:54
I think many Ts do get atleast mildly attracted to most patients. I mean, it is part of the game, and thought most Ts won't admit it, I think it is very much there. However, I don't think that the Ts get caught up in those attractions like we do, but rather take it as a passing attraction. It is because of our projection and our revealing so much about ourselves, that we tend to extrapolate the attraction on our part into true love, and soul mates etc etc. Whereas, if we had met them in other circumstances, even for us it would have remained a passing attraction and we would have been able to let it go at that.
I have been attracted mildly to many of my colleagues, but it didn't last long enough and I didn't bother too much about it, and didn't spend all my time thinking if they liked me and if we were soul mates etc. And true to it, now that I don't see them anymore I have even forgotten all of them. I think what Ts feel for their clients is something like that.
So I am sure your T is attracted to you, but he wouldn't be making a big deal out of it.
Also, when a T says that he is not able to help you anymore, I think that is a really considered statement and he means it. You should find out someone who specializes in the problems that you have. Just like you wouldn't want to be treated by an ENT surgeon for a heart failure, so you shouldn't be treated by a therapist who is not trained to handle your particular disorder. You will end up hating your T and the therapy process in the end if you stick with him just because you like him.
poster:orchid
thread:648671
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060526/msgs/648897.html