Posted by JenStar on October 4, 2005, at 11:28:01
In reply to New therapist, posted by Dinah on October 3, 2005, at 16:35:16
hi Dinah,
you ARE special to your T and to everybody who knows you! :) I'm glad you realize how much you mean to him. Losing you is a big loss to HIM, too. You can't spend so many years with somebody and NOT miss them -- it's simply impossible! It will be a mourning process for you both.It does sound like he's making a positive situation out of this crisis and branching out into something new and ultimately rewarding and exciting. I hope you will do the same -- use this as an opportunity to do things that will help you grow.
I'm so sorry that you have to start over with a new T, but I hope she'll end up being OK.Maybe she can be a 'bridge' T until you find a male T that you click with, or maybe she'll even develop into your 'real' T over time. I'm glad you're giving it a chance. I think it's brave of you!
To me it sounds like you're coping remarkably well given the circs, although I'm sad to hear that you had to curl up in the closet.
I know the elderly parent thing is so hard...a nursing home/place is better than YOUR home, though, because they can get round-the-clock care. And you won't need to deal with "emet" anymore!
What do you think about telling the in-laws about your phobias and issues - do you think it would be too much of a burden, or do you think it would ease their minds and help understand your behavior?
I know your husband doesn't want them to know, but do you think that telling them would actually maybe help the situation? I don't know the answer, but I'm wondering if you've given it some thought? If you really like them and trust them, maybe they could handle it?
Maybe you could even say something like, "I want you to know that i love you dearly. If it seems like i'm avoiding you, it's only because I'm so broken inside about this whole move and leaving my safe home base. Somehow I handle the stress best when I'm alone. So I'm sorry I don't spend as much time with you as I'd like, but I'm just trying to hang on to my sanity here, and being by myself helps me stay calm and in control of my emotions. I hope to get over this eventually, but I hope you understnad that my actions are not personal and I'm just trying to cope as best I can."
That way you wouldn't divulge and personal details about specific issues or phobias, but you'd also ease their minds a bit? But I don't know! I'm not in your shoes, so all of my suggestions might be totally silly given the circumstances! :)
Anyway, I'm sorry you're sad, and I'm here to listen and offer my (possibly awful) advice any chance i get. :) I hope you're well. I'm thinking of you and hoping you continue to thrive! :)JenStar
poster:JenStar
thread:562381
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051001/msgs/562701.html