Posted by Tamar on October 5, 2005, at 17:09:00
In reply to New therapist, posted by Dinah on October 3, 2005, at 16:35:16
Wow, Dinah, you’re very brave to go to a new therapist. I can imagine you miss your ‘real’ therapist terribly. And it must be incredibly difficult to try to start working with someone new; someone who doesn’t know your situation or your ways of dealing with things, or the issues that your other therapist is so familiar with that you don’t have to spell them out.
You are truly an amazing person. It takes real courage to do what you’re doing.
I sometimes think the worst thing about a disaster isn’t the disaster itself – adrenaline keeps most people going through a disaster. It’s the aftermath. It’s the tedium of getting things back where they should be, interspersed with the gut-wrenching pain of loss when you’re all out of adrenaline and exhaustion has set in.
The situation with your in-laws must be extremely difficult. It’s hard to balance what’s best for you with what’s best for them, especially in the current circumstances. I guess if I were in your situation I’d just explain about the emetophobia, even against your husband’s wishes, but at the same time I can imagine that he might think it’s difficult to explain to elderly people who might not understand. But you know you’re not a rude b*tch, and I know you’re not a rude b*tch, and I’m sure your in-laws know you’re not a rude b*tch. At the very least, the trauma of the last few weeks should be enough to explain anyone’s behaviour.
Can CBT techniques help with your emetophobia, at least in the short term? I know you’ve had the horrific experience of being confronted with an actual incidence of your phobia. But is there any way you can rationalise it and come to believe it’s not likely to happen again? Or do you find that impossible to imagine?
> I could take all of it, if I had my therapist. And I made him defensive and irritated telling him so (GOOD!!!!).
Yeah, well, he should be able to take it.
> I guess the good news is that I finally believe that I am special to him, not just another client, and that he cares for me as much as someone not related by blood or marriage can care for someone.
This made me feel all warm and fuzzy. I’m sure he loves you very much. Who wouldn’t love you? You’re wonderful.
> The bad news is that that doesn't matter one whit.
Yeah. Love isn’t always enough. It sounds as if he’s in a life crisis and he still doesn’t know what he’s going to do. But I hope he will continue to consider you a priority. I’m sure he gets a lot of satisfaction from his work with you, so I hope he’ll keep thinking of you when he’s considering his plans for the near future. If I were in your position I’d keep in regular contact, just to be sure he knows you still want him as your therapist.
> How do you make tears in writing?
(((((Dinah)))))
I’m so sorry you’re hurting. I wish I could help. You’re in my prayers (and I don’t do a lot of praying…)
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:562381
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051001/msgs/563320.html