Posted by annierose on August 21, 2005, at 13:11:28
In reply to Re: Need and attachment » Shortelise, posted by Dinah on August 21, 2005, at 11:57:02
Dinah -
I do understand what you are saying, that you like the intensity of the relationship, and you miss "needing" him in that way. I wish I had some pearls of wisdom for you. As I am at the beginning of my journey in therapy (this time around) and look forward, I think, to feeling less intense about her ... although I share with you, wanting to maintain a theraputic relationship with my therapist for a long long time, even if it's just for occasional support.
In all relationships, the intensity never lasts, but something else takes its place (ShortE's post). I don't think human relationships can maintain that level of intensity, it may wane, but come back, taking on another dimension as both parties evolve. Marriage is a prime example. I ebb and flow from thinking, "I love my husband so much and wish he was here right now" to "Why did I marry such a *ss? Doesn't he get it!" My therapist would call that, living in the "gray zone", opposed to my normally black & white thinking.
You like how you feel when the intensity over-powers you .. is that right? It feels strong and a sort of "in love" (but I know you're not) for the first time type of feeling?
As I said, I don't have any profound thoughts. Just wanted to let you know I understand what you are expressing, I think. And this is material for the therapy room.
Annierose
poster:annierose
thread:544714
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050813/msgs/544761.html