Posted by annierose on July 30, 2005, at 6:57:08
In reply to Re: Talking about Sex (potential trigger) » annierose, posted by daisym on July 30, 2005, at 1:28:20
No, she wasn't surprised I brought up sex. I have danced around the issue before, she's knows it's an area I struggle with. On Thursday we were talking about men in my childhood who I admired. I was hard pressed to come up with one name. My father is a decent enough person, but he worked 7 days a week, and when he was home, he was tired, but he did do stuff with the kids (well, my mom surely wasn't going to do anything like play games, color, take us places).
So I admire him for "doing it all". But he never spoke to me. Never liked me (compared with the other children). My T asked me, "what do you think your father would say about that?" I knew, we had this conversation. When I was in college, he drove me somewhere and said, "how come you and I never talk?" I guess I was snarly that day because I replied, "I don't know dad, you're the grown-up." Him: "You see, that's the trouble." That was the end of his only attempt to find out anything about me. He loves my little boy, but barely says "hi" to my daughter (her personality is similar to mine, for better or worse) and to this day, never tries to hold a conversation with me besides very surface stuff. My T thinks I make him feel uncomfortable.
Boy, has this replied taken a U-turn. Lots of stuff is coming to the surface. And I'm gald that even though I started talking about the "hard stuff" right before she went on vacation, we are right back at it. Now I leave at the end of next week. Oh well.
Thanks for listening.
Oh, and here is some more news. Last night, my husband and I actually discussed all of this. How my lack of connections with men in my past is tied up to my current sex life ... it was a great start, I began to cry and he was really comforting. And guess how it ended up ...
Have you tried to discuss these sexual issues with your husband? I know he doesn't know about the csa, but in general, does he know how difficult these intimate situations are for you?
Annierose
poster:annierose
thread:534972
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050725/msgs/535561.html