Posted by pinkeye on July 26, 2005, at 16:59:28
In reply to No Ego, posted by cricket on July 26, 2005, at 16:09:05
Don't worry about the lack of ego.. Ego is what we build for ourselves over time. If all things go well, some people end up building a good sense of self early on.. For others, it takes time.
And even when you say you don't have an ego, you really actually do - you feel some ways, you think in some ways, you have a certain name you go by, you like somethings and don't like some things. Actually too much of an ego is not good - when you have very definite views and opinions and tastes and likes and dislikes. A more fluid ego works better in life than a hardcore sense of self and likings and disliking. So you got nothing to worry !!
> I just got back from therapy and I never usually post until I've processed stuff, but it feels like this might slip away so I wanted to try and get it down.
>
> I've had a really rough week thinking that I want to quit therapy and all the parts have been fighting and arguing. I haven't slept much all week.
>
> I sat numbly in therapy for the most part. Finally I told my therapist that one of my parts was crying all week because she didn't want me to quit therapy because then I would forget about her. Then I gave my therapist a brief listing of what the other parts thought about me quitting.
>
> Then he said, "So what about you? Do you have an opinion?" I shrugged. He said, "It sounds more like you're just the connector for all of these voices. You listen to this one and then to that one." I admitted to feeling like that. "There is really no solid ego there of your own, or rather it's the type of very fragmented ego that is created in the crucible of trauma."
>
> I guess I know all that but at that moment I just felt the wind blowing through me. I am nothing, nobody, just a bunch of mixed up voices. There is really no Cricket there at all.
>
> Then he went on to say that this was a great opportunity for us to create something, to take the pieces that I wanted. I couldn't really hear too much after that. It sounded sort of Dr. Frankensteinish. We will create a me?
>
> Thoughts, anybody? I feel numb right now but I think I might be about to fall apart.
poster:pinkeye
thread:533839
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050725/msgs/533851.html