Posted by Skittles on March 24, 2005, at 21:47:06
In reply to Re: I quit therapy today, posted by Susan47 on March 13, 2005, at 20:06:14
I talked to my now ex-T this morning and it's over with her. She won't see me unless I take AD's. I told her that I had been thinking a lot about telling her my reason for not taking them, but that I didn't really feel any more comfortable with telling her. If I did, it would just be to please her. She said knowing probably wouldn't make any difference for her and her recommendation. So, I decided if it wouldn't make a difference, there's no reason to tell and give her something else of myself that makes me feel shame.
She said she'd had to take a step back and think about what she'd do with most patients and most patients she would have pushed medicine sooner and probably hospitalized by now. But that she was trying to be kind and respectful. Well it was that kindness and respect that made me start to trust her and tell her things - secrets that I'd never told anyone. So basically it seems like she let some of her own stuff get in there, did things different with me than she would with others and I'm the one who gets to hurt over it. I knew it wasn't safe to trust her. I KNEW it. By myself is better.
Near the end of our call, she said "I want you to know that I'm here." BULLSH*T. That's all that is. She's only there if I do what she wants. I wish I could hate her. Then maybe it wouldn't hurt so much.
poster:Skittles
thread:469454
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050315/msgs/475227.html