Posted by Racer on October 10, 2004, at 14:44:47
In reply to Are you ever afraid you present too well?, posted by Dinah on October 10, 2004, at 9:02:50
I know I present too well at times. And the worse off I am, the more likely I am to do my utmost to hide it.
That, as you know, is not always the best way to get help.
That's part of the problem I had with that damned agency -- the more they pushed and prodded me in to that coffin, and the more they ignored my self-reports of still being alive, the more I drew back inside myself, and stopped showing the mounting distress. (Instead, I went back to starving myself.)
Even our marriage counselor, who is actually pretty good at sussing us out most of the time, started making mistakes about me: she'd say, "Oh, you're so much better today! That's so good to see!" Then be shocked three minutes later when I fell apart entirely, crying and shaking on the sofa. One day, when I was so tense I felt as if I was only barely holding my skin on, I asked her if I looked anxious. She said no. She was shocked to hear that I was over the top, shaking inside so badly I could hardly think, let alone talk.
So, I think that we present well because we're exceptional women, but also that -- at least in my case -- sometimes it's a self-protective mechanism to hide what we can, to avoid showing signs of vulnerability.
Hope it helps to know you're not alone.
poster:Racer
thread:401120
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041002/msgs/401214.html