Posted by Racer on September 23, 2004, at 16:29:45
In reply to Re: How do you address your therapists? » pinkeye, posted by Aphrodite on September 23, 2004, at 16:00:32
My therapists I address by first name, but the pdocs are more problematic. My general policy, with doctors and with veterinarians, is to address those I most respect as "Dr FirstName", and the rest by their first names. For some reason, though, I have a harder time addressing pdocs this way.
It doesn't help that Dr EyeCandy was one of those uptight, fussy sorts who would have have to change his pants had I addressed him as either Dr Beloved or simply Beloved. (Yes, for those of you who care, that *does* tell you what his real first name is. For those of you who don't know, it's the meaning of his real, honest to goodness first name, the one that appears on the real birth certificate that doesn't read "EyeCandy" for his last name. It is not made up, and has no deeper meaning for me.) In fact, the only reason I know his first name at all is from looking him up by last name at the AMA website.
Pdocs in general, though, somehow don't fit into the same catagory as the other doctors for me. I think it's because the relationship is so different. Maybe because I don't have to get naked around them, or because I always feel as if I walk in there as the pathetic patient, rather than an injured or sick organism? Or maybe it's because there's no physical contact? Or maybe it's just shame at mental illness? Whatever it is, I think I do tend to call them by their last names -- and to resent that a bit.
Generally, though, I'm with vwoolf -- if they call me by my first name, I want that equality. Unless, by the way, they are considerably older than I, or they strike me as being particularly good at what they do, in which case I use their last names as a sign of respect for their age and/or skill.
With Dr EyeCandy, though, by about March of this year -- after six months of problems there -- I had a hard time resisting the very strong urge to request that he address me by my own honorific. If he gets to be Dr EyeCandy, I should be Mrs X. (What? You didn't know my full name was Racer X?)
As for the non-pdocs, by the way, a lot of them have figured out over the years that Dr FirstName is a sign of high respect from me. I think because only the sort of people who would recognize that point are the sort who earn that from me. And I will leave any doctor who objects to the use of first names.
(A friend of mine with a doctorate insists that doctors call him Dr MyFriend. He also refuses to undress unless he believes it's necessary. I'm just glad I'm not his doctor, because he's got to be a pain in the sit-upon, huh?)
Sorry for going into such detail...
poster:Racer
thread:394142
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040918/msgs/394201.html