Posted by Dinah on August 20, 2004, at 23:06:20
In reply to Re: Birthday gift for T? OK or no? » Dinah, posted by Lonely on August 20, 2004, at 20:10:21
Well, I've got to admit that I'm a committed person in general. Most of my friends are from school, even years later. My husband was my high school sweetie. Divorce is something that neither of us would consider (ok, we might dream about it sometimes, but not consider it).
So my bias is towards finding someone you like and then sticking out the problems - in every relationship in my life. It's a style that suits me. My somewhat cynical take is that every relationship brings arguments, areas of conflict, and boredom. It's better to work on those things with the decent person you've got than to try all over again and be disillusioned in a different way.
The difference with my therapeutic relationship is that in most my relationships we start out having a lot in common, talk endlessly, lots of intimacy, then things become less intimate. But with my therapeutic relationship, we started out not really clicking and deepening the level of intimacy and connection with each fight and every disagreement solved. A bit different for me...
So why stick it out? I've seen so many worse therapists out there than mine. Mine has many good qualities that were valuable to me. I didn't think I'd find one that was instant rapport and constant stimulation. And he stuck it out with me. He was willing to make the commitment to make the relationship work just like I was. He didn't say that I could like him or leave him. He didn't stubbornly insist that his point of view was right, and I was the nutty client who was automatically wrong. He was willing to learn something from each encounter, just like I was.
What was the point of moving on? To find what? Now... If Daisy's or Pfinstegg's therapist lived nearby, and I already knew he was great, that might be different.
poster:Dinah
thread:378642
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040812/msgs/380208.html