Posted by underthecs on August 17, 2004, at 21:33:44
In reply to Re: Birthday gift for T? OK or no? » lucy stone, posted by shrinking violet on August 17, 2004, at 21:07:27
Hi. I understand the "rough spots" in the relationship getting old (see my post above). But I think it does (or at least can) get better, be less intense, not as long in duration, with more good times in between... overtime, anyway. It's hard to remember the bad feelings aren't forever. It helps me to think of it in terms of moving in spirals, rather than circles. You don't necessarily come back to the exact same place, even though it feels like it, if that makes any sense.
As for the gift... I have given a gift. It was a souvenir from my vacation. It was not expensive, but it was meaningful and symbolic (to me, and I think to him as well). And yes, it was accepted. And I didn't have to do the whole "talking about why I gave it thing", either. It was accepted graciously and that was that. Although I do think you can learn a lot from figuring out why you want to give it. But heck, if we are lucky, of course we want to somehow give back for all that our therapists do for us. Sometimes it just is what it is. I say talk through this rough patch. The part of you that wants to give the gift is still inside you, too. Good luck. I hope you let us know how it goes.
poster:underthecs
thread:378642
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040812/msgs/378924.html