Posted by shrinking violet on August 17, 2004, at 10:36:39
Hi everyone...
I apologize for posting so much already. :(
I searched for this topic, but couldn't find anything. I apologize if it's already been discussed.
As some of you may have read in other posts, I see a T at the Uni where I'm a grad student. I've been seeing her for about a year and, considering we are T and client, I'd say we're fairly close. We've been through a lot together, and I would venture to say that we care about and respect each other as people.
My T's birthday is next month; she mentioned it in session once and I made a mental note. I've been thinking of getting her or making her something, however 1) I'm not sure she can/will accept gifts from clients in general and 2) since she works for the school, the school might have its own rules about staff/faculty receiving gifts.
So, I'm not sure what to do. I'd feel like a complete a$$ if I offered it and she rejected it (no matter what the reason), but I feel like, given how much she's done for me, I really want to thank her and a card wouldn't be enough (I've given her cards twice already, and those are OK).
I was thinking of getting her a mug: I already know the one I want to get. It has a silhouette of a black cat on it (she has 2 cats and loves animals) with a black moon above it, and the rest of the mug is while. It's called Zen Meditating, or something (she's Buddhist too). I wanted to ask my nutritionist about this, since she knows my T well and she also works for the school, but she's still on summer break and I don't think I'd be able to see her before my T's birthday, since the start of school and her b-day are around the same time. So, in lieu of asking, I guess here are my options:
a). Play it safe and just get her the card (or give her the card and mention the gift, and if she says she would have accepted it, bring it for the next session).
b). Make her a mug instead of buying it (would this make a difference? I guess to me, since it's still a mug, I don't see the big deal. Could I just buy the mug and tell her I made it?! *lol* She'd probably believe it, as she's seen some of my drawings and knows I'm fairly artistic and creative).
c). Give her the (purchased) mug and hold my breath.
I know the doc at school accepted a huge painting a student had done for her, but, again, it was made and not bought (although the canvas and paints must have cost $$$).Any thoughts on this? Has anyone gotten their T a birthday gift before? Normally I wouldn't consider a gift other than a card just to be on the safe side, but since we've been together for a year and given how much she does for me ( and puts up with), and our relationship, I feel I really want to do something. And I should maybe mention I won't be with her once I graduate (probably December, although I'm thinking of extending until May, but there's no guarantee I'd be able to see her past December anyway), so our time together is limited and I won't be with her for her birthday next year, so that eliminates the possibility of setting up a precedent.
I apologize for the length...I tend to ramble in writing.
Thanks for reading.
-SV
poster:shrinking violet
thread:378642
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040812/msgs/378642.html