Posted by underthecs on August 18, 2004, at 15:21:39
In reply to Re: Coach vs Therapist - Change ?, posted by Lonely on August 18, 2004, at 14:19:50
Hi. When is your appointment w/new T?
My therapist also has a corporate background, so he does supportive/coaching stuff as well. Actually, he's very eclectic and just uses whatever is needed at the time. You asked me in an earlier post how I found him. Many years ago, I was hospitalized for depression and he was "assigned" to me, and we just clicked. I didn't see him much after I got out, but then looked him up a lot of years later and am back in therapy with him again. I wasn't looking for a "coach" necessarily, but it turns out he is good at that, too. He wears many hats: counselor/therapist, cheerleader, coach, parental figure, mentor, reality checker, advocate, collaborator, etc.
And I hear you about having to tell your story over and over. Luckily, mine remembered most everything, even after 12 years! I did see a different therapist once (just once!) in between, when mine was out of the state and I couldn't locate him... and I just hated her! And it wasn't really anything about her, it's just that there was no chemistry or fit. It just did not feel right. Luckily, when I just couldn't go on any longer, I typed my therapist's name into a search engine and BAM! There he was! Back in the state. I've been with him almost 2 years. Fit, chemistry... is VERY important, at least to me. It's what keeps you coming back; it keeps you invested in the process when you really DO NOT want to be.
Would it help to sit and write out the history so you don't have to keep re-telling it? And then the new therapist can just ask for clarification if needed? If he can't try to understand how frustrating it is to start over, and is stubborn about that, then keep looking. I think it is important for a therapist to meet you where YOU are, and not expect that you do everything THEIR way or on their timetable. You are the most important person in the therapy room. Don't forget that.
And, a good starting point could be just to talk about how frustrating it is to keep changing therapists. If you find a good therapist, they will be able to help you talk. You don't have to do all the work alone.
Your last comment was that you're not sure you like this new therapist. Why not? Can you tell us more?
poster:underthecs
thread:378986
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040812/msgs/379170.html