Posted by Aphrodite on June 6, 2004, at 6:46:01
In reply to Speaking of transference (long), posted by gardenergirl on June 5, 2004, at 18:31:10
Let me chime in to say I too was neglected and unwanted by my mother. I have no contact with her now, which I find very regretful. I've wanted to rekindle that relationship, but I realize she was not able to be who I needed and that wouldn't change now.
If you want a good long cry on the subject, I recommend a storyteller tape by a Jungian psychologist called "Warming the Stone Child." (Dr. Bob, the double quotes thing doesn't seem to work for audio tapes.) Through different tales of unmothering and abandonment and this psychologist's take on them, you begin to learn that the neglected child has many gifts, namely great insight about others. She says that we have an instinct about dangerous and unsafe people that people who were well-cared for as children do not have. She goes on to say that we often override that gift in our desparate need to be loved, that as adults, we cling to others in a last-ditch effort to get what we didn't have. It's very insightful -- I learned a lot and cried a lot, too.
Gardenergirl, I'm glad you are OK. It makes perfect sense that it would trigger all the things that came afterward. Hope you make it through OK, and yes, tomorrow is another day :)
poster:Aphrodite
thread:354107
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040603/msgs/354218.html