Posted by westin on August 23, 2004, at 18:03:09
In reply to Introducing myself, posted by bronte19 on August 20, 2004, at 16:49:24
Hi Bronte,
I too browsed for a while before joining and you may find my intro would give you an insight into why i joined.
The points you made about your reactions and behaviours are very similar to the actions of my partner.You are not alone.
Firstly i must say that in our experience medication is essential and the correct type and dosage is very important.However for us my support and love was "equally important",according to my partner.
Yes at times i walk on "eggshells" but that happens in life anyway.
Where we succeeded and continue to succeed was that i constantly gave reassurance until i was believed- a lengthy process.We discussed the issues only when my partner felt able too.We, together and individually looked for practical ways to reduce/remove the stressors.Honesty can be a painful medicine to swallow.Identified and altered behaviours that caused stress and created difficult situations.We moved house/state and thus removed a lot of "triggers"Out of sight may not be out of mind but the less memories "triggered" = less stress in our case.
As for me i love,admire and respect her so much and my goal continues to be to make her and our kids happy and even though the goal is not always returned as i would wish:We are both human and we both understand that neither one of us can always be on top form.Sometimes, we to have too much on our individual plates.Sharing the burden where possible helps.
My partner has learned that she is not judged and therefore judges herself less and never intentionally judges me.The children (all six of them) do not judge her either she gives more love than harsh words.
One thing just came to mind.My parner felt different not a normal person due to trauma she suffered she now recognises the abusers as abnormal and accepts that occasionally her negative thoughts and feelings may return but that that is normal!A completely normal reaction but now she has her own tools(including med's) to deal with them.
Reading your posting it is obvious that you want to overcome your issues and taking action and as we say in Scotland,"fighting the good fight", has certainly worked here.
I wish you and your family all the best.You can do it.!!!!!!!Ps.We are a joined family 3 each.
poster:westin
thread:380053
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/newbs/20040812/msgs/381437.html