Posted by bronte19 on August 20, 2004, at 16:49:24
Hello everyone.
I've been browsing the message boards here for a while, and I've decided that I might be ready to join in. Here goes nothing:
In the past 8 years, I have found that occasional visits to different therapists have helped me reach short-term emotional stability. I've examined my childhood--like everyone else's, it was tough. I've learned that the patterns of behavior I witnessed as a child continue to affect me today. I am fully aware of what I'm doing wrong; I just can't stop doing it. I'm so irritable and angry sometimes while other times I'm organizing papers and rearranging furniture until I'm exhausted.
Last summer (2003), I visited a pdoc who suspected that my symptoms were like that of a person with bipolar II. I took Lithium for only a month because it turned me into a zombie--a quiet, good-natured one, but unable to THINK. I told her that I thought I was experiencing anxiety more than anything else, so she switched me to Zoloft. I've been taking 50 mg of Zoloft for the past year, which helped with the anxiety attacks I was experiencing. However, a month ago my pdoc added Lamictal because she noticed a pattern emerging--I was exhibiting the same cyclical symptoms as I was when I began seeing her. I've titrated up to 75 mg of Lamictal right now and going up to 100 mg this weekend.
Here's the rub: I am a successful, average-looking woman who works 2 jobs and goes to school; my 4-year-old son is bright and kind to others; my husband is exceedingly understanding; we have enough money (barely, but that's okay with me), 2 working cars, and a small rented house. I guess I have a lot on my plate, but I don't think that is the cause of my moods.
I don't want my son to turn out like I did, and I don't want my husband to have to walk on egg shells. I'm scared that I've just begun the dart-game of Pick-the-Right-Med. I just want to feel normal. Is this possible?
Any thoughts/advice/support are very, very welcome! I promise I will do what I can for others who need my thoughts/advice/support, too.
poster:bronte19
thread:380053
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/newbs/20040812/msgs/380053.html