Posted by Jost on September 23, 2006, at 12:01:45
In reply to Re: Beginning grief after months..., posted by browneyedgirl827 on September 19, 2006, at 10:16:23
Hi, browneyedgirl827.
I haven't experienced the types of loss in my life where you mourn the people, that often. So I can only speak from a partial perspective.
It sounds like you're doing a wonderful thing, in supporting your bf and carrying so much responsibility for helping him along, and yet keeping up many activities of your own.
There comes a time when it's too much, though. You need support and a chance to recover from so many losses-- not only the loss of you bf's dad, but the loss of some of the companionship and support from your bf, and the optimism and shared looking toward a good future.
Your bf may need some help with all the things he has to deal with, so he can get onto his forward path again. Maybe a counselor, or even a group of others who are grieving. He needs to find strength in renewed relationships with others, and work-- even if he goes to a different job or career, over the long term.
It's very understandable that you have your own grief for his dad, totally separate from his. And that you need to recover not only from that, and other losses, but the strain of how much you've taken on-- at 20 or 30, it's a lot for anyone to handle. So maybe you need to readjust and refocus on your own needs-- not to the exclusion of others, but also maybe giving your needs for restoration and peace and coming to terms more priority.
You really deserve that and need it, too.
Jost
poster:Jost
thread:687235
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/grief/20051017/msgs/688428.html